No! Don't speak... Just blog it!

The Psychedelic Blues

2011-08-11T20:57:00.001+08:00

The bamboozled psychedelic woman

The Psychedelic Blues

The heart is on the floor

No more energy...
Spent and drained

It remains flat in its moor

Oh, this drifting existence

Lost and unwelcome
The heart is on the floor
For the house is not a home

Sigh, what a bore
Pursue and persuade
Whatever thy destiny
This is not the end

A Peace Lover You're Not, A Coward You Are

2011-08-01T23:08:00.003+08:00

I totally disagree with your opinion. Only those who don’t mind being oppressed by corrupted and unfair administration would think like you. And I don’t think it’s just because of the love of peace and harmony that people like you didn’t join in the mass meeting. You are just too afraid actually to rock the boat because you are too comfortable in your comfort zone.

Who in their right minds do not want to live in peace and harmony? To maintain such living environment however, we need to be brave and be ever ready to stand up for our rights. We must fight the corrupt authorities. I firmly believe that those who are against the clean mass meeting are not simply peace lovers. They are actually cowards.

Go for clean? yeah, why not?

I admire the courage and solidarity shown by my brothers and sisters who attended the meeting for clean. And that include those rallyers who are of different race and religion from me. Yeah, so what they are of different creed and colour. We're still citizens of the same country aren't we? So I guess it's not too much then for me to say that they are in fact the heroes.

Good for them to be so bold to try to take the dirty ones to the cleaners.

And for that, I salute them all!

Money Or Your Life?

2011-07-19T21:55:00.004+08:00

Why are we so obsessed with money?

Granted money is a necessity. Without it you can hardly survive. But it borders on absurdity if you get so hooked up on money that you forget to live your life. It’s as if money is more important than your life.

In all your busy-ness chasing after money when are you going to slow down and stop to start smelling the roses? Once you have retired and your senses have dulled? By then your nose has probably fallen off your face or that your sense of smell has probably vanished. You may end up not being able to smell the roses at all.

Or maybe you thought you’ll stop once you have acquired enough money. But how much is enough? It seems the more money you have the more you want. It will never stop unless you yourself draw the line.

It is a pity when after retirement just when you thought it's time for you to enjoy your money to your despair you discover that your body has also reached its retirement. How are you to pursue your dream of being a dancer when all your joints are now stiff with arthritis or that you finally want to fly an airplane but you have now forgotten which is your left and which is your right.

By all means work to get money but do also remember to live your life and pursue your dreams. If money can be finished once it's spent so does your body. When you work too hard your body is spent too and you're finished; sometimes way before your time. That's when you have expired and has no more life to live.

So never lose sight of the reason why you pursue money in the first place. It helps to keep things in perspective. Just remember that having all the money in the world doesn’t mean a thing if you are not living your life. After all you only get to live your life once.

Do yourself a favour. Get yourself unhooked from the obsession on money and start living your life.

dear Dr

2011-07-04T20:03:00.001+08:00

oh dear Dr insane
cool is yourself deign
with Dr before your name
your PhD is so lame

Still we hold true
Dr befits not one as you
have you not a clue
'drab' is more you

you so love to brag
you make us gag
dressed in rag
you're Dr airbag!

Make It Happen

2011-04-23T22:14:00.000+08:00

Oh them. Who cares what they think or what they say. I know who I am and what I truly want. So they can rub it in all they want thinking whatever they wish. But this, this is truly the chance that I've been waiting for since the day I found myself.

Now I understand. What others generally view as a failure is actually an opportunity that I have been waiting for. Only it was disguised in a tragedy. A so-called tragedy that is actually the key to open up a world of possibilities. And now I'm spoiled with choices. The choices that I once thought would be impossible given my circumstances then. But now, those choices are in my very hands and it's up to me to choose.

Others may not agree. They may even think it's bizarre, outrageous. But I care not what they think. What I know is I need to realize my dreams. I don't want to be tied down again to the terms set by others. It's my life and I want to live it on my own terms. I have wasted much time with needless diversions before and I refuse to let myself waylaid through that path again.

The new sense of autonomy is exhilarating to say the least. It's unbelievable how I never realized it before. It has been playing on the periphery of my mind for years. Finally I see. So this is what it has to take to achieve the dream.

Certainly I am not gonna let this golden opportunity slip through my fingers again. This is the chance to make it happen. And happen it definitely will. I will see to it!

The Voice of the Unspoken Words

2011-02-15T23:25:00.002+08:00

Sometimes the unspoken words make greater noise and have more impact. You don't have to say a word but your angry aggressive stride, the fierce way you throw your hands at things and that oh-so-sour facial expression is loud enough for others to hear.

Really, you don't even have to utter a word. Your intended listener has already heard you. Loud and clear. Don't mind them. They're there for a short while. Soon once they are able they'll make a move again. So don't worry. Pretty soon you'll be able to reclaim what's rightfully yours and be as isolated and forlorn as before.

3 Things To Do While Waiting To Pick Up Your Kids From School

2011-01-26T07:28:00.016+08:00

A friend's FB status gives me an idea to come up with this entry.

Are you just like my friend bored and restless as you wait in your car parked under the hot sun for your kids to appear out of the school yard? If your answer is yes, well fret not. Here I present to you three things that you can do to occupy your waiting time. Any one of these suggested activities will supposedly make you forget that you are actually waiting for someone.

First and foremost, always have reading materials readily available in your car. They may consist of newspapers, magazines, books or even activity books (not unlike the ones you give your pre-school kid who is waiting in the car with you for him to busy himself with just so he would get out of your hair). You can read them while in your car with its engine and aircond switched on or to save on fuel, you can do that once you have parked your car at a shady spot, with the windows rolled down and the engine turned off. While waiting, read as many pages of the available materials as you possibly can. However do not just read the words silently, read them aloud as if you are reading the news over tv or radio. This way, besides killing time you get to gain more info plus you can help improve your enunciation. Sure, you may get one or two curious stares shot at you by other parents who are also waiting for their kids but heck, who cares?

If however, you don't fancy reading books then you can turn to the activity books to do some join-the-dots drawing or even colour in the outlined pictures. This can be very therapeutic and you may enjoy them more than your 5-year old does. In fact by filling your time with the activity books, you may even forget that you are an adult and don't be surprised if you suddenly squabble with your 5-year old fighting over who should get to colour what and what colour to use .

Next, if after a while you still find yourself bored out of your wits, you can get out of the car, find the nearest tree and start counting the number of leaves on the tree. After you are done with the tree remember to jot down the figure into your cell phone before moving on to the next nearest tree. Repeat this process until you see your kids running out of the school gate. This way, the next time you past by the street you can always brag about how you know exactly how many leaves each tree has and then start to play a guess-how-many-leaves-in-the-tree game with whomever is unlucky enough to be your passenger. Insist that if the passenger guesses wrong he will have to pick up your kids from school the following week. Thus, you get to skip a week of fetching your kids from school. Yay!

However, if you come to a point when you have run out of things to read and trees with leaves to count, then it's time for you to get out the car and get yourself acquainted with the school security personnel. Get a pencil and your notebook ready before you walk up to the guard post. Give the security man a big smile and a greeting before you introduce yourself. Let him know that you intend to interview him for some vague project. This way you will be sure to get his full cooperation for the interview. Start asking him on his childhood before moving on to questions on the next stage of his life. If you are lucky he may even give you the inside story on some hot juicy gossip that goes on behind closed school gates. Not only will you get to kill time by doing the interview, you may also gain a friend. Who knows whenever you are late to pick up your kids, you can ask Mr Security there to help you keep an eye on junior before your arrival.

So there you go. Those are just only three suggestions that you can follow while waiting to fetch your kids from school. I can come up with more but I think these will do for now.

Those Moments When I Left My Brain At Home

2011-01-20T20:07:00.007+08:00

When I was younger my mom used to point out that women tend to lose memory once they've undergone childbirth. Giving birth not only takes a toll on a woman's body but she may also lose some of her brain cells in the process. I never gave much thought about that theory before because I didn't think it would affect me much. I assumed it was just her excuse to justify her frequent memory lapses.

However, after experiencing a few post-baby embarrassing moments myself, I now think there might be some truth to it. I recall a few embarrassing incidents that befell me which left a what-is-she-thinking-is-she-nuts question from whoever were unfortunate enough to witness. For some inexplicable reason I inadvertently left my brain at home on those few occasions.

Only yesterday, blissfully unaware that anything was amiss I strolled blithely in Mya's school compound while waiting to pick her up after school. Smiling at some of the other parents I even walked past them as I made my way to the school corridor. It was only upon reaching home that I knew all was not well when I was about to open the door to our house. That was when Mya, chuckling loudly, piped up behind me, "Mama you got your shirt on backwards!"

That of course wasn't the first time such a thing happened. I vividly remember ten years earlier, when my eldest was still a toddler I had been laughed at by a shoe store owner for walking into her store in two totally mismatched sandals. On my left foot was an oversized white rubber slippers (at least 2 sizes bigger than my size 7) while on the right foot was a branded size 7 brown flat sandal. And to think I had been walking comfortably in them for a full 10 minutes before I actually realised my outlandish mistake! By the way, I made a stop at the shoe store in the first place to get myself a new pair of sandals so that I wouldn't be the subject of any more ridicule or curious stares. Even as I left the store in my new perfectly matching sandals the store owner was still laughing at me shaking her head in disbelief.

After such mortifying episode you'd think I'd gained some important lesson, right? But no. One day back from work I decided to drive to a provision store while still in my office attire. What I didn't realize as I got into my car was that I had absentmindedly taken off my shoes and left them on the parking lot instead of bringing them with me into the car. That explains why as I wanted to get out I had no shoes to wear except for hubby's over-sized and hideous chunky contractor boots that were always stashed under the passenger seat. In a dilemma I weighed my options then of whether to walk to the shop barefooted or in the BIG ugly boots. At last swallowing my pride and not willing to waste anymore time I chose the latter. With fake confidence, I strode into the store and went straight for the the items that I'd intended to buy. Refusing to acknowledge any raised eyebrows directed my way, I quickly paid for my purchases and trudged as fast as I could in those horrible boots to my waiting car. Thanks to that incident my image as a stylish career woman was briefly tarnished.

Actually those are only just a few of the many more instances of what happened when I left my brain at home. Experiences that made me feel like an utter fool.

As a consolation though, I know for a fact that I'm not the only who's predisposed to making such faux pax. I had one time encountered a lady on a bus wearing her baju kurung inside out while on the way to work. Guess, just like me she was just having one of those days when she accidentally left her brain at home.

Sterilising Bummer

2011-01-17T21:45:00.026+08:00

While under confinement after the birth of my third child, I sometimes had to ask mr x to help out with the household chores, including washing and sterilising the baby's feeding bottles. By then, mr x knew that all he had to do was just to dump the bottles into a pot of hot boiling water for a few scorching minutes and that was it. The bottles would be done and rid of germs.

However, little did I know that mr x would wrongly draw from that experience to one day apply the same method to cleaning his own stuff. It was only by chance that I dropped by the kitchen one sunday afternoon to discover the snafu. That afternoon I became curious when I noticed he had left a pot of water to boil over the stove. Sneaking a quick peek inside the pot, I was bowled over with what I saw. Totally submerged and crying out for help under the bubbling hot boiling water was a pair mr x's eye-glasses with all its shining gory!

duh... how was I supposed to know that!

Aghast and trying hard to stifle my laughter, I quickly turned off the heat before further damage was done. Unfortunately, it was too late. Although the frame was still intact, the lenses were terribly distorted. Apparently, mr x's glasses were beyond salvation. This incident taught me how ludicrous his reasoning could be at times. I knew then I shouldn't rely on mr x again to help me out with any of the household chores. With that brand of logic running through his head, only God knows what unthinkable stuff he'll do next!

But of course, now I no longer have to worry about what mr x's next move is.

Dangerous Chemicals in Shampoos & Bodycare Products?

2011-01-13T18:29:00.017+08:00

Couple years back I've received emails concerning a number of specific brands of shampoos that contain Sodium Laureth Sulphate (SLS). From what I know, those brands of shampoos are not the only ones containing SLS. Almost all bodycare or beauty products contain dangerous chemicals that cause cancers. Even the products specially made for babies are not spared. Just take a look at the various baby products that you currently have at home be it baby shampoos, baby powder & baby lotion; I bet in all likelihood they contain one of these dangerous chemicals. By the way, SLS is not the only dangerous chemicals that are commonly found in our daily bodycare products.

If you are like me, inquisitive and love to equip yourself with useful info then you should head to this site for a more detailed list of toxic chemicals and the attendant side effects for each: http://www.alkalizeforhealth.net/Ltoxiccosmetics.htm

The only products that do not contain these toxic chemicals are probably organic ones. But even then we have to be careful and highly selective as some unscrupulous manufacturers who are out to make a quick buck do add toxic chemicals in their so-called organic products. It is good practice to read the ingredients listed on the label carefully and if possible do some research to find out what those ingredients actually are. The credibility of the producers of the organic brand should also be taken into account before you decide to pay good money for their products.

But I know even after being armed with this knowledge it's not as easy to just chuck out our current bodycare products and switch to organic ones simply because not only are organic products far more expensive they're also not that widely available. Well, at least not here in Malaysia.

That's why I still use those non-organic brands even though I know these products are slowly poisoning me and my family. What I do is try to use less of the products especially on kids. Lesser in volume and frequency, that is. I mean, you don't have to shampoo your baby's hair everyday, do you? Skip a day or two. Or that perfumed lotion? Do we need to apply it on baby's skin after every shower? And the baby powder? So what if they don't smell as sweet.

My defense mechanism in the face of all this is simple. I just console myself by having this thought etched in my head: that is, by the time the toxicity takes effect, we'd probably be long dead due to old age or some other natural causes.

But ultimately, it's an individual choice, don't you agree? I mean at the end of the day, it's up to you to decide whether you want to poison yourself or not. Nobody else is in the position to tell you what you should do or not do to your own body. Even if someone has the right to do so, it's not like as if you'd take heed anyway.

So now, after reading this entry why don't you take a moment or two to ponder over this and decide whether to poison or de-poison yourself.

When Mr Hypocrite Speaks

2011-01-01T07:22:00.003+08:00

I'm pretty sure for those of you who're not subscribed to satellite tv, and you happened to turn on the tv before nine on new year's eve you would have caught Mr Hypocrite on tv giving his new year babble.

No matter what channel you tuned in to it's still his face all over the place. Huh, it was so exasperating! Fortunately only when I changed the channel to Al Hijriah was I saved from the agony of having to listen to Mr Hypocrite. I have myself to blame for that brief agonising moment, really. I should have proceeded with installing the satellite tv when I had the chance recently.

But hey, it's okay. The next time he's on tv, I'd simply beat the tv to death. That will hopefully do the trick.

I am who I am, You are who you are

2010-12-26T23:30:00.007+08:00

I am who I am
You are who you are
I can never be you

And you can never be me

I may say what you say
You may say what I say
But try as we may
We say it in a different way

I may see what you see
You may see what I see
But how do we see it
Is not with one see

We are two of the same species
We are two of different brands
The species of the human kind
That is what are we

Hoarders and their Keepsakes

2010-12-22T07:59:00.019+08:00

Having lived with hoarders I know how it feels to be driven out of space by tons of stuff that should no longer be kept inside (or outside) the house for that matter. Hoarders love to keep useless stuff that should never be saved in the first place.

Hoarding stack upon stack of decades-old past issues of women magazine is just one example. Giving the feeble excuse that, "I still want to read them one day." just don't go down well with me or anybody else in their right minds. Yeah sure, there are so many lovely pictures and articles in there. But what's the use if those mags are never opened nor even glimpsed at. They are just kept there just for the sake of having them around. That's sick. Much security you get from a stack of old dusty outdated magazines, huh? As if.

"Knock, knock. Hey lady, you need some fixing up there?"

Then there's another hoarder who keeps almost everything in every nook and cranny. Notes, memos, minutes collected from past careers still find themselves being pampered and loved by the owner that they deserved a special place in his home. (*eyes rolling in disgust*). Try throwing these junks away and you'll be surprised to find them back again inside the home, obviously revered by the owner.(*again, eyes rolling in more disgust*)

Then there's a 'collection' of boxes upon empty boxes perched menacingly on cabinet tops making the place so unkempt and literally, over the top. Any attempts to clear these eyesores would guarantee a violent and hostile reaction from this junk collector.. So, do I dare to incur the wrath of this hoarder? No siree. It's his house, his mess, his business. What's junk to most people is keepsake for him. As disgusted as I am at this irrational behaviour, still I have to respect the homeowner's idiosyncrasy. Lest I'll be kicked out of his house.

So was I mad when an old luggage with a hole the size of China managed to find its way back into the home of this hoarder after I had dragged it out? Nope. Just kept myself cute and mute.

It's not unusual for hoarders to keep empty boxes but it looks okay only if you have the space and is this organised

However, I wish I could get rid of all those old, useless stuff and make room for things that really matter and spruce up this junk house.

I'd be grateful if one day these hoarders could finally see what the others see. Can you help me convince them to change their ways? If you can, I'll give you their prized possessions for free. Honest, I will.

No, you can't...

2010-10-04T01:49:00.003+08:00

Why do you have to ask if you already know the answer...

No, what's been extinguished can never be rekindled
No, what's hated can never be loved
No, what's gone can never come back
No, the wrong done can never be forgiven

No matter how regretful you've become
This heart will never open for you
Nor will it ever return to you
The eclipse of your heart will remain such
For what's gray will never be white

Don't Cry Over A Man

2010-07-22T08:55:00.035+08:00

Oh come on... just quit it. Quit the moping around in your robes just because some guy dump you. After all that he'd done, breaking your heart into pieces and now you want to give him the satisfaction that you're still not over him yet? Sorry girl, that's not the way to handle your heartbreak. Just think of the big smug smile on your ex's face if he knew that you've not gotten over him. And why in the world should you feel sore about losing him? Is he worth all that tears? Come on, get a grip on yourself and now's the time to forget all about him and start life anew.

So, how do you handle those initial tragic moments when your heart is crushed by the very person whom you had given your heart to and shared your life with?

Should you bawl your eyes out? Or should you slit your wrists with the hope that you'll gain his sympathy and he'll come running back to you? A big yes for the first question (but only for a couple days, tops) and a big no, no for the second one. Tough luck he's gonna run back to you baby. Especially not after he's the one who has so casually broken your heart. So why be stupid enough to end your life in vain when he's for sure has totally forgotten all about you and has moved on with his life with a new partner.

By all means get that tight feeling that has been bottling up inside you off your chest. Yes, cry girl, go on... have a good cry, there there. Now after you're finished with all the crying which should only take you 2 days at most, start planning on how to get your heart and life back on track, this time without him.

Start by focusing on rebuilding your self-esteem. Pamper yourself. Go to a spa, get a good full body massage, get a pedicure and manicure. Then go to the hair salon and get a new haircut but don't go overboard please cos you don't want to go home later and cry over that 'over-short' hairstyle, do you?

Later, after you've had pampered yourself silly with all the grooming and relaxing why don't you go out shopping with your girl friends and paint the mall red! Just don't over charge on those credit cards please. You may be tempted to throw caution to the wind when in such mood but please remain level-headed at all times. You really don't want added problems where you end up being chased by banks for payment, do you? So, yes spend but within limits.

At a time like this it won't work to your advantage if you are on your own. As best as you could avoid being alone for those first few months. Try to always be in the company of others. Why don't you join a social network where you have common interests with the others and share. Or take turns having sleepovers at your house and your friends'.

Finally, if you have some money to spare there's no better time than this to go for a vacation. Take a trip to a totally new place where you can gain new experience and meet new people. While you're there don't pass up any chances of trying out new things too. You'll appreciate the experience. This may even make you forget all about your heartbreak.

There are many other ways of course for you to heal yourself. The possibilities are endless actually if you seriously want to get your life back on track after you've been dumped. Just stop that moping around and crying over that man. Always remember, he is totally not worth it and he definitely doesn't deserve you. So why should you shed tears over him? Makes no sense at all, does it?

She Has Talent

2010-07-19T17:33:00.002+08:00

Ah, my li'l Mya. She can draw. The above is her rendition of herself and me on the go. Mmmmm, maybe I can use her drawings for my first book a la Diary of the Wimpy Kid. What title should I use? Diary of a Fussy Mom, maybe...

And the above is her free hand sketch of the wimpy kid and gang.

The Prices of Food and Drinks to Remain Stable Despite Raised Sugar Price

2010-07-19T17:07:00.001+08:00

so claimed a minister. Really? Somehow, I'm skeptical, very skeptical. Let's just wait and see for another week or two and see how far that statement holds true.

What usually happen is, they'll promise this and that but once the government's back is turned on them, these vendors, sellers, associations or whatever will start the price hike to maximize profit. And the ultimate victim will be you and me, us.

Believe me you don't? Well, just sit back quietly and see. If it does happen, I told you so. But if it really doesn't happen, I must say wow wee! That's something new! And I'll be glad and so should you.

cupcakes anyone?

The Price of Fuel Raised Again

2010-07-16T08:11:00.000+08:00

Oh yes, you heard it right. Due to our beloved government's move to cut subsidies, not only is the price of fuel increased (for the umpteenth time), the price of sugar is also raised.

So just be prepared people for the domino effect to take place soon where you and I will see an ever escalating cost of all other things too.

Believe me, you should. That's the norm here in this beloved country of ours. They'll never stop of course until someone smart and brave enough intervene, if ever.

The Power of Being Mom & Dad

2010-07-07T04:33:00.000+08:00

Love the power vested in me as both mom and dad to my kids since their dad got sucked into the vortex of diminishing existence and finally vanished into nothingness. (Well, at least to me that is)

I get to confiscate A1's cellphone for violating my privacy when she leaked out a video of me to the vilest person ever. Thanx to my tattling li'l Mya for letting me know. Otherwise, I would never have thought A1 still hadn't deleted the video clip as promised.

Now, even A2's gameboy was confiscated for he spent too much time on that little gadget right after it was fixed. If he had known how to divide his time accordingly between studying, eating, sleeping and playing games, I wouldn't have to come down hard on him. Well, too bad boy.

You can't do anything for now coz I'm the boss!

I wish

2010-06-16T06:42:00.006+08:00

You know what I wish... I wish I had no morning class today. But sigh, that's not gonna happen. I'm not the boss. If I were, I wouldn't have imposed on myself to teach at such an unGodly hour. But hey, a job is a job right. Besides, save for some unmentionables, *tuu...t* (to borrow Dzul's favorite expression) this job is the best I've ever had in years! So I should just stop whining and get my lazy butt there pronto!

Ok, am signing off now...

It's just not me...

2010-06-15T10:26:00.001+08:00

It's just not me when I hear or see something that irks me to just stay meek and mute as if I have no mind of my own..., as if I agree with all what's happening around me.

You can call me an opinionated b*tch all you want but it won't change who I am. Just because I am a woman doesn't mean that I should keep it to myself and just seethe and weep silently. If i can't make a difference in a big way, at least let me make a difference in many little ways.

No Action, Talk Only

2010-05-21T18:28:00.008+08:00

I just don't understand why some people talk so much and with such passion and volume too BUT the result? NOTHING! They just know how to talk and to plan but in the end they have nothing to show for it. This sort of people really irks me.

Look, if you want people to start believing in you, why dont you first do all the things you said you were gonna do and just stop talking. ... Instead of talk, talk, talk ... and just sit there and do nothing, get off your big fat butt and do something worthy. By what you're doing now, all talk and no action, people will stop believing in you and it is doing a disservice to yourself and your gender.

It only confirms our belief that the male gender of your kind only knows how to take advantage of the fairer sex, can talk very loud and clear about almost everything under the sky and beyond it, but alas..... you have nothing to show for it. Zero, zilch, nada!

So my advice, until you have proven yourself and that you are not just made of empty useless words, do something good for a change. Only then will others listen to you and believe in you. Otherwise, it's better to just shut up! I'm sure it's easy to shut up your big loud mouth just like how you 'shut up' your body by doing nothing.

P/S: Well, if the shoe fits, wear it...

Are you okay?

2009-10-23T22:13:00.000+08:00

Somebody who I once thought I knew so well asked me today, "Are you okay?"....

Now, why shouldn't I be okay... It's him who's gonna tie the knot tomorrow, not me...

When I asked him the same question, he replied, "I don't know..."

How can he not know if he's already decided that that is what he should do...

Are we going to see another episode of The Ex-Man?

Oooo... let's just wait and see...

Well, to this fella... good luck!

Good luck to the (un)lucky girl too...

Believer vs Non-Believer

2009-09-28T22:51:00.002+08:00

For those who believe, no explanation is necessary.

For those who don't, no explanation is possible.

A Jigsaw Puzzle

2008-12-24T15:09:00.007+08:00

We're just two wrong pieces
Of a jigsaw puzzle
That never fit in
That never clicked

But was pushed together anyway
Thinking as time passes
We'll finally click

But alas
We never did
And never will

Finally
When the 'perfect' picture unravels
Too late
We realize

We're just not meant to be
Coz we're two wrong pieces of
A jigsaw puzzle

The Way To Your Heart

2008-12-14T09:03:00.013+08:00

I had been searching for so long....

The way to your heart...

But why was it so hard to get there

I wonder then what did I do wrong...

Why couldn't I find the path to your heart

And now...

Now that I have uncovered the awful truth

I no longer care the way to your heart

I thought you were just too blind to see

But NO... it was worse

In actuality

You are one of those

Undeserving, ungrateful jerks

Who possess the vilest, most foul of hearts

A rotten heart!

Too Blind To See

2008-12-07T23:32:00.009+08:00

I offered my heart but there was no taking
If only an act in a play to fool me
That I'm clapping with both hands
Yet I can't really hear anything
No wonder
I'm clapping with just one hand...

I offered my trust but there was no accepting
If only an invisible wall of lies and deception erected to fool me
Oh did it fool me good, real good
I fell for it over and over again
How naive was I, how blind was I...

And now I see
I see real 'loud and clear'
I've been a fool for unknowingly
You've been trampling all over my heart
So savagely, so ruthlessly
Before, now and always

And I know you'll do it again
Trample over my heart all over again
In a second, in a blink of an eye
The moment I turn my back on you

Even when I plead for you to stop
For you to please see and understand me
Yet you're too deaf to hear
Too blind to see

I've Had Enough....

2008-12-07T11:19:00.009+08:00

I've had enough...

of liars!

I'm totally thru with them!

So u thought you could get away with it...

That God would just leave me in the dark...

Like I've said before & again, if you have faith in God...

He will help you out...

He will lead you to see the light...

And oh, do you see the light!

So bright and glaring

That you've just got to wear shades

Believe me, you don't?

Then that's your problem...

Not mine

Especially when you like to twist 'em oh so many times

Then the damage is done

Your reputation has now evaporated into thin air

And you are now NONE

I Do... Understand

2008-11-30T12:39:00.006+08:00

Who says I don't understand?

Don't they know I still can hear, can see, can speak

For I have eyes

My eyes are not deaf

They can see vey well, thank you!

For I have ears

My ears are not mute

They can listen well too, you know!

For I have a mouth

My mouth is not blind

It can speak very loud and clear, haven't you noticed?

So please stop saying I don't understand

Isn't it obvious

If I'm not blind, deaf nor mute

That I do, I do and I do... understand!

I Choose To Trust

2008-11-27T18:49:00.014+08:00

Once I've tired of feeling insecure & paranoid
I choose to trust

Once I've tired of tearing down the curtain of lies & deception
I choose to trust

Once I've tired of the boggling mind games
I choose to trust

Once I've tired of playing peekaboo with my heart
I choose to trust

Once I've tired of being made a fool
I choose to trust

For now
Whilst I have not tired

I'll continue to dig & dig
Until I get to the bottom of it all

Whether imagined or otherwise
And see for myself

What a real fool I've been
Or what an undeserving creep you are

Until then
Until I choose to trust

You are not yet off the hook, Mr!
Oh no, you're not!

Tongue-Tied

2008-11-19T18:47:00.012+08:00

Wow! Somebody must've thought I'm really stupid, huh?

See what I've said about liars. Once a liar will always be a liar. To cover their previous lies they will tell more and more lies on top of the previous lies.

Hope the tongues of those who so love to lie will literally get tied up and twisted that they can talk no lies no more.

When Once ...

2008-11-16T20:40:00.028+08:00

When once you were so close & dear to my heart
Now not only are you so remote & distant from my heart
But you are now totally removed and discarded from this heart

When once you were like a precious diamond among the gems
Now not only are you as valueless as a common rock
But now you are just a speck of dust that I walk over and kick away

When once you were the one and only love of my life
Now not only are you just someone I'm way past caring
But now you are merely a nobody

When once you meant everything to me
Now not only have you lost any meaning to me
But now you are as nothing as the vacuum in outer space

When once you were a sight to behold
Now not only are you a sight that revolts me thru' and thru'
But now the very sight of you repugnates my whole being

haiyah! get out of my life, you creep!

When once you were
And now you're not
Then there's nothing more to say
Except for this dear ex-darling,
'Just get the hell out of my life, will ya?!!'

Neither Here Nor There

2008-11-14T11:57:00.005+08:00

When there's that element of mysticism still present, the question will inevitably remain.

When that seed of doubt has now sprouted and taking root, then it is here to stay.

Oh, What a Caring PM... NOT!!!

2008-08-22T08:45:00.009+08:00

How amusing. But I'm not laughing. I'm utterly disgusted.

Only now when the by-election is just round the corner that he suddenly thought of this. This KTM problem has been going on for what???... more than a decade??? I should know for I was one of those daily commuters before I quit my job 5 years ago. But only now, yes only now when his position is in the balance that it suddenly occured to him to check it out for himself.

Why didn't he think of this years ago when complaints after complaints from frustrated commuters were directed against KTM, when disappointed and helpless commuters were pleading with the government to please, please do something to better its service??? Why???

I may have allergic rhinitis and my sense of smell maybe off at times, but this, I can definitely smell 'the fish' miles and miles away.

Can you?

Recipe for Disaster?

2008-08-21T09:22:00.006+08:00

What happens when you reread your beloved novel on the shopping 'misadventure' of a shopaholic combined with the fact that the Raya festivity is just round the corner???

You are kicked into the shopping mode! That's what. Before this didn't even know that reading about shopping and the misadventure of a shopaholic picking up all things nice, delicious and scrumptious like bags, shoes, heels and whatever else are so contagious. No thanx to you Sophie.

So, am now compelled to do shopping and more shopping! At least till the budget runs out of course. No, am not using the card. Have been off the credit card for years now. Have sworn off using it. It only fools you into thinking that you have money to spend when in fact you have none.

Shopping using the poor man's money aka cash is so much better. I don't have to think about the bills at the end of the month. Nor accidentally spend over the limit. I don't even have to worry about how to get all that money for me to shop. Let my mobile banker worry about it. After all it's his job.

My Phone & Wallet Stolen?!

2008-08-12T22:16:00.023+08:00

Some nights ago I went to a concert with a couple of my girl friends. Don’t ask me where or whose concert it was. For the life of me, I simply can't recall. But one thing's for sure, the performance was superb. Initially, I really had fun at the music show. Standing on a side platform, I was just too busy mindlessly dancing away to the upbeat music that I was totally oblivious to the others around me. I didn’t even care about the seated audience on my right. I was just too into the music and having too much of a blast to even care. However, I do vaguely remember the sudden appearance of a skinny young man by my side as I was busy grooving. Though a bit perturbed by his unwelcomed presence next to me, I continued to shake my body to the fast and catchy tune of the live music.

Few moments later however, I was suddenly made aware that the young man who’d been standing still beside me a moment ago had left my side. Suspecting something amiss and just to assure myself, I hastily tore open my bag’s front pocket to check if my phone's still there. To my absolute horror, my suspicion was proven true. My beloved phone was gone! Shocked and dumbfounded, I was at a loss of what to do. Did feel like crying but I managed to hold back the tears. Within the short moment, I tried to rationalize and come to terms with the loss. And amazingly, I didn’t do anything crazy. I kept my cool, thinking I can always get a new one later and not to be too worried over it. Taking several deep breaths I tried to console myself by downplaying the loss, ‘Ah well, what’s important, I still have my other valuables with me, my money and the important documents in my wallet.’

Then just as I had come to terms with the loss of my phone, came along a different guy who who then stopped and took a front row seat nearest to me. What's weird was that all the way he kept looking and grinning at me. Then, while seated and with a mischievious gleam in his eyes he taunted me with, ‘Why? Your phone's gone huh? Well, it wasn’t just the phone, you know. We got your wallet too.' Then, 'Hahaha…’, he wickedly laughed, baring his ugly crooked teeth.

The moment the details of what he’d said finally sank in, all hells broke loose. At first I was just panic stricken. Then with shaking hands, I quickly grabbed open my bag just to check and true enough, my wallet was gone too! Oh, how could I have been so careless??? Outraged, I threw a hissy fit and went totally berserk. I just screamed and screamed my head off, furiously pulling out my hair and stomping my feet! 'How? How? How could I have been so careless!!???', the big angry question repeating itself ceaselessly in my head.

But...

No, actually... it didn't happen like that. That's stretching the truth a little too far.

Actually, I was just disheartened and felt a deep sense of regret. But still, that’s too mild an expression to describe how I really felt then. I was in fact completely and entirely devastated! Utterly dismayed and distraught, I was howling and crying my eyes out over the loss. I didn’t even care what the others around me would think of my abrupt and wild outburst.

‘Why oh why must it happened to me? If only I’d been more careful with my bag and more suspicious of the guy standing next to me, I wouldn’t have fallen victim to the theft. Now it’s too late. The two most important stuff that I always carry along in my bag are now gone!’, I wailed.

I just couldn’t accept that I’d also lost everything else important in the wallet, like my identification card, driver’s license and ATM card that I was reduced to the shameful act of breaking down right in front of the crowd, bawling my eyes out while at the same time pleading with God to please, please let me have my things back. In my desperation I believed if I prayed feverishly and long enough, God would grant me my wish; that I’d somehow through some miracle would be able to get my stuff back.

And as I was desperately and fervently praying and pleading to God, hoping that it was just a bad dream, I was suddenly... and rudely... awakened from my fitful slumber.

Still in tears, I snapped out of the delusional world to the joyful reality that, ‘Oh, it was just a bad dream and... oh my, thank God, that means I did not really lose my precious phone and wallet after all! 'Phew'!

Penitent and humbled by the dreamt-up incident, I thanked God eagerly and profusely. Heaving a huge sigh of relief, I vow to always, always be on my guard wherever I go. I believe the bad dream was some sort of a premonition or a forewarning for me to exercise more care and caution with my possession.

A Day of Being Superwoman

2008-07-26T22:12:00.013+08:00

See, I told you so.

I'm not purposely lazy. Really I'm not.

Sure, I suffer from chronic laziness but it's not as if it's intentional. Haven't you heard of what actually cause my chronic laziness and constant drowsiness syndrome? Well if you haven't do feel free to check out my previous entry on this very subject.

What is most surprising today was the fact that my spirit and physique was up to the task of cleaning up the house including the nitty gritty low down task of cleaning and scrubbing both bathrooms, the kitchen stove and hood besides vacuuming the whole floor (well, almost) in addition to the normal tasks of airing out the laundry (a daily must-do for this one) and general de-cluttering of the house, all within a space of half a day! - collectively counted if minus the in-between napping, internetting and idling. But of course, no cooking except for microwave-cooking a pot of rice. Who after all that hard physical labour would have the time or even the motivation to delve into that most complicated chore? Definitely not this cooking-averse housewife. Uh uh, the nearby food stall served more variety of kedai-cooked dishes. Besides they're much better-tasting too. Thus, cooking - as on any other given day be it weekends or not - was definitely out of the question.

'Off to the kedai you go son and buy the lauk for our lunch. No need to buy rice though since mama is rajin enough to cook rice today,' was essentially the command given out to A2 to solve our usual what-to-have-for-lunch-today question.

When I realized what I'd accomplished even I myself was amazed. I mean where did all those energy come from? As far as I can remember, I didn't take drugs or special energy boosting supplements. But, hold on a sec, could it be due to the recent consumption of 'gamogen'? Mmmmm... that's something I definitely need to look into. If true, then 'yeeehaaa', finally I've found the cure to my ever annoying and delibitating ailments!

However after the much tiring task of scrubbing both the bathrooms and when I was about to continue with the vaccuming, I suddenly and unexpectedly felt faint. I felt woozy and my head seemed to be taking a spin while my legs seemd to have turned to jello. So I had to stop and sit down to take a break. I replenished my energy by taking the second breakfast of the day - a couple of crackers dunked into teh tarik. That was super yummilicious. Glad to have had the excuse to lose myself in this new-found treat which is fast becoming a favourite.

Ok, ok enough with blowing my horn and justifying myself again but honestly I truly am amazed at what I was able to achieve today. What's with my current existence being frequently attacked by the inexplicable chronic lazinees & constant drowsiness, this rare occurence is deifinitely something very much welcomed. This sudden transition of power had awakened the always lazy and sleepy me to the reality that maybe, hey just teeny weeny bit maybe, I still have hope to normalcy again.

Housewives, lots of free time?

2008-07-25T13:22:00.009+08:00

Hey, look at what I've found? It's my old blog post at AuthorsDen which was first posted 2 years ago in my now abandoned MySpace blog.

This was written in a sudden outburst after holding back for quite some time the feeling of discontent and disgust at some people who levelled unfair allegations and accusations at us housewives.

Enjoy reading the edited version here and see if you can detect any contradiction and confliction between this post and other recent entries of similar content.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Housewives... Lots of free time???

Who says a housewife has lots of free time? It's really infuriating to hear comments such as, "Oh... so you're a housewife... then you have it easy....you must have lots of free time."

Whenever I received such a remark, I felt like saying, "Excuse me... Hello!!! If you think it's so easy...why don't we trade places then... and see what you yourself think about it???"

We housewives... or homemakers...however you choose to call it... are indeed an unappreciated lot. How many times have we heard remarks that belittle our contribution to the family. Just because we're not being paid $$$$$$ others look down on us housewives and have a stereotyped misconception of us.

We are usually accused of doing nothing worthwhile but sit around at home watching TV day soaps or reading trashy novels besides doing the daily cleaning, dusting, cooking, laundry and looking after the kids as are expected from a housewife. To add insult to injury, some even go as far as suggest that a housewife contributes nothing of value but only knows how to spend her husband's money, thus depleting his financial resources sooner! How outrageous and narrow-minded they can be!

It gets worse if the housewife has paper qualification. Most would immediately question the wisdom of 'staying home doing nothing' (read: being a housewife) when the woman should be out there working in an office (read: be a career woman) and make full use of her qualification and skills to contribute to the nation's economy. Otherwise, we are deemed as useless and wasting away money that was used to finance our education. The nerve of some people!

In reality, we have to make a lot of personal sacrifices when we decide to let go of our career and become a housewife - to mention a few, our monthly pay cheque that let us be in control of our own finances and gives us financial independence, the daily social interaction we enjoy at the workplace and the professional image that we were able to portray with having a career. Not to mention at the receiving end of criticism from almost everybody: among them, our own parents, in-laws, friends and colleagues when we take this bold step into domestic life.

On top of that, we still do it despite not receiving any payment for our services, that is to say we provide free services to our family so that they can lead a contented and normal life. No more hectic life for lack of time due to rushing for work and seeing the kids off to school or daycare centre. We can even enjoy having meals together with our kids at home most times. No more parting ways every morning wherein family members go their separate ways whether to school, office and child day-care centre only to be reunited later in the evening at home.

The kids can be home after school instead of being dropped off at the daycare centre plus the kids can enjoy lunch together with their mommy in their own home. The same cannot be enjoyed by a family whose mom is working at the office.

Family members with both parents working are separated for an average of ten hours each weekday leaving the house devoid of human occupation for the same amount of time. So isn't it better to have someone around the house and at the same time keep house and keep an eye on the children. What's the point of having a nice beautiful house if we can rarely have time to spend family time together in it?

Of course, some might quickly suggest hiring a maid to serve this purpose. However, I never for once believe that having a maid around can solve this problem. A maid is basically a stranger to whom we entrusted the task of taking care of the house and our children. But the question is how trustworthy are they. Haven't we heard enough about the misdeeds of some maids. How can we be certain that the maid that we hired is a reliable and honest one? With all these uncertainties it's definitely a risk in hiring a maid to take care of our children.

Furthermore, a maid is in no position to effectively replace the role of a mother and nurturer to the kids. After all they work as maid for the money. Thus the quality of their service shouldn't even be comparable to a housewife's who does it all out of love and concern for the well-being of her family.

Yet despite our sacrifices society still look down on us and even some husbands remain ungrateful and unappreciative not to mention some kids who take the stay-at-home mother for granted and think that their mommies will always be there to clean and pick up after them.

Instead of criticizing us, skeptics should give housewives the much needed moral support as well as credit for our contributions. They must understand that when we become housewives not only do we gradually lose our self-esteem but a sense of our self-identity as well - in addition to the other personal sacrifices mentioned above. We are no longer the go-getter career women who were independent and whom other people looked up to.

More importantly, a housewife should not be regarded as simply a housekeeper and child-minder but also someone who has her own private interests and hobbies who deserves time off for herself so that she can also create a fulfilling and happy life for herself. Nobody should expect us to be a slave to our family when we had after all given up so much to care for everybody in the household.

I may be living off my husband's money for now while being a housewife but he should view it at this angle: without me he has to spend more on child-care, school transport and other associated costs besides receiving less quality babysitting and chauffeuring services from strangers compared to the same services provided by his wife, the mother of his children.

In fact, a housewife should not be valued by the amount of work she does everyday but by the quality of the work she does. We do get tired and need rest like other working mothers as we are definitely not machines to tackle every household chore every single day and constantly have to fulfill the every wish and fancy of our households. And contrary to popular belief, we don't have that much of spare time just because we stay home and not out working. Further, our job is not to just dust, mop, cook or trade recipes. Like working mothers, we also need mental stimulation to keep us sane.

So is it wrong for us to take a break once in a while by reading books, watching TV or go on the internet? It's not as if we do these all day long. As long as we know how to manage our time between doing our household tasks and duties, and having time for ourselves, nobody has the right to say we housewives have lots of free time... and not contributing anything worthwhile.

To those who simply accuse us of this....shame on you. My advice, try being one for a couple of years and see how you fare.

of Promise Breakers & Liars

2008-07-25T10:20:00.009+08:00

What's up with some people? Can't they just get out of their system the inclination to lie and break promises all the time?

Why do these kind of people get a kick out of hurting others by deceiving and disappointing them?

I mean if you cannot find it in your heart to tell the truth then don't say anything! And if you know damn well that you cannot and will not keep your promises, then stop stringing others along and raising their hopes high up in the air only to be shattered into a million pieces later.

Geez, some people are just so thick and heartless!

To these promise breaker and liar, please take note.

As of today, I'm swearing off from listening to your meaningless words. They're utter rubbish, consist entirely of crap!

You can bet your ass that I'll start tuning you out from now on.

of Memory Super Glue

2008-07-23T21:34:00.019+08:00

Of late, I notice that my memory has been on a steady decline, deteriorating at a rate that has made me lose insights and foresights of what's what or who's who. Am all panicky and horrified because of this. How could it be affecting me so soon?!! Me?!! The one who'd always prided herself in having a sharp and vivid memory... or have I been wrong all this time?

Is it the age factor or could the glue that had been responsible all this while for sticking past events and details securely onto my brain had lost its effectiveness? Or could my brain be too dusty from all those over-snoozing and over-internetting for the glue's adhesiveness to take effect?

If that's the case, then I'm in dire need of a memory super glue.

Eversince being a mom, I sensed that I've been running low on my memory capacity and had been careful enough not to overload it. Oh, don't ask me how big is the capacity... is it in Megabytes or Gigabytes? I won't know, ok.... seesh!

For instance, I've purposely stopped memorising the car-plate numbers of people I know even those of my neighbours' for fear that this action might overburden my memory function. This line of thoughts of course is very much unlike the ones I had when I was younger, when I enjoyed inputting as much info as I like into my brain at the same time ensuring that whatever useful info was retained in my memory box.

One of my favourite past times then were to memorise car-plate numbers of any passing car especially the ones belonging to the people I know just for the heck of it. On the contrary, now that I'm older I have become more selective in committing into memory whatever I've seen, read or heard. That way I was hoping that most of my saved memory would stay intact and firmly secured in that memory storage box, whatever part of the brain that is that keeps memory.

I believe if I were to put more unnecessary details into my memory, the existing ones would inevitably be kicked out just so to make room for the new ones. As memories make up the history of who I am, obviously I don't want to lose any of my precious memories.

So the only solution is to get a memory super glue or increase the capacity of my memory box. But how could that be possible?

Any ideas?

Confessions of An Undomestic Goddess

2008-07-23T11:28:00.021+08:00

No wonder things never get done around here. There are simply too many distractions: the internet, the piano and any reading materials lying around screaming for my attention: 'Here, here! Read me! Read me now!'

While I have every intention of cleaning up and de-cluttering my home or airing out the washed laundry on my up-to-it days, I've always find excuses to take a short break in between or in the midst of doing the chores.

Usually I'd take a few minutes off to log on to the net to 'check my emails' or read updated news telling myself that it'd only take few seconds and then I'd continue on with my work. However, before I knew it, I'd get so engrossed in it that I fail to realise that the supposedly few seconds had then turned into minutes and sometimes into hours!

Sometimes as I wiped away dust on the piano, my eyes would inevitably fall on the music sheet. And if the music sheet bears my fave tunes, I'd be inevitably tempted to rest my bum on the piano stool and started hitting my itchy fingers on the black and white keys playing my fave tunes. While losing myself in the soothing tunes, the partly-done chores would start to slip off my mind altogether. Thus, whatever chores I'd be doing then end up being abandoned.

Then there are other times while de-cluttering the lounging area, I'd be so taken in by the seemingly inviting coziness and comfort of our slumberland couch that I'd be compelled to flop myself down onto it to either catch up on my reading or to shut my peeps just for that few fleeting seconds (or so I thought.) Of course, I'd usually be so carried away by the laidback moments that I'd lose all track of time and the abandoned task would remain that, abandoned.

However, it doesn't mean that if all these distractions were to be taken away from me, I'd get things done and completed anyway. No, without the distractions I might lose any motivation to do any work aside from making me feel restless and bored - which means for lack of anything more interesting to do I'd just turn to catching up some zzzz's and watching the stupid box which if you think about it, is much much worse for anyone's good.

It's no wonder too that I have to resort to the frantic-paced method of doing housework when I indulge myself too much in these distractions and later get the nasty discontent look from that other person.

But hey, in my own defence I believe all these distractions are necessary for me to stay healthy and sane. Like the cliched saying we've all heard before, 'All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.' In my case, "All housework and no breaks, drives me to the asylum.' So now knowing where I stand, don't you think I deserve the frequent breaks in order to keep my sanity intact while at the same time giving colours to my stifling, cooped-up life as a homemaker? Well, I think I do.

Emoting in Another's Shoes

2008-07-23T09:53:00.019+08:00

After my last entry I'm not supposed to be alive again am I?

Uh uh, don't get me wrong. The last post wasn't at all about me. I was just putting myself into someone else's shoes, putting what I think her thoughts and feelings were into words. I have a vague idea of how she must be feeling for the past couple years or so which was finally drawing to a closure just then.

It's heart breaking to lose someone you've once loved with whom you'd shared a history together and started a family with. And with whom you thought you'd grow old together and whose company you'd enjoy being in till the end. But alas it wasn't meant to be. The rug of life beneath your feet was pulled so abruptly that had caused you to suddenly tumble and knock your head with the sudden realization that 'forever us' is now no more. The one you once knew inside out, upside down and loved with all your heart had unexpectedly betrayed you and had turned into a stranger, remote and removed of all love and compassion for you.

Now a foe, the person had turned against you, pointing out and magnifying whatever weaknesses you have, blaming you and you alone while he keeps on deceiving others and deluding himself of whose greater weaknesses had in the first place caused the once blissful union to crash and spiral downwards into a point of no return.

As heartbreaking as it is to have someone you know going through all this turmoil in her once normal life, I'm also glad for her that at last she's liberated from the tormenting 'knot' that has lost any meaning for her or brought any joy to her life.

I pray in my heart that she'll find the strength to proceed with her life. I hope she won't look back but carry on and turn over a new leaf. God willing, she'll find true happiness and everlasting love. Over time the hurt would heal and she'll sure reach the end of the dark tunnel and find light again. After all the psychological and emotional torment she had had to go through while in the failed relationship, I sincerely hope she'll find real happiness that she truly deserves.

Out of the Picture

2008-07-21T09:41:00.018+08:00

I'm sorry, but I have to take you out of the picture.

It's not working. Don't think it ever will.

When I agreed to go into this I never expect things would turn out so bad, oh so very bad that it's beyond salvation.

The cut is too deep, the pain is too raw for me to turn back and try again. Now I know. It's plain not worth it anymore.

Haven't I given you a second chance to see us through? But did you care, did you make good the chance you'd been given? Did you?

Finally, I see. You no longer care and your heart no longer belongs. I know when my time's up, when my stay is not needed, not wanted. So let me just back off and let you live your life and me, mine.

Pretending to be us when there's actually no us is just too painful, too tragically depressing. I have suffered enough. When they say 'after the engagement ring, comes the wedding ring and later the suffer ring', I never thought this would come out true for me.

And now when I can no longer feel the joy I once had nor the fulfillment from being part of us, then it's time...

It's time for you to be out of the picture and let me move on with my life.

Dead Tired

2008-07-15T22:59:00.010+08:00

I'm tired.

I'm tired of being judged, of being told what to do or what not to do.

Just because I frequently opt for simplicity over complexity does not mean I'm useless.

I'm tired of the not so-subtle manner of telling me that the way I do things aren't good or even frequent enough, thereby I'm deemed not contributing.

I'm tired of being told implicitly but in no uncertain terms that just because I don't bring in something tangible, I'm not contributing anything worthwhile.

I'm tired of being made to wait on the sideline in the dark and all alone while the other party is supposedly caught up in the drone of bee-zi-ness while at the same time still gets to enjoy the side perks and benefits.

I'm tired of being put on a pedestal, then made to feel that I matter most and mean the whole wide world to someone only to be pushed away so arrogantly and brusquely that made me further confused and bruised.

I'm simply tired of being made to feel that I am no longer indispensable and that in all likelihood I can be booted out anytime.

And after all had been said and done, I'm just tired, dead tired of it all.

Pathetically Bored

2008-07-15T20:53:00.016+08:00

When boredom stares at me right in the face and the atmosphere is heavy with an air of distant affection and detached emotion, I'm bound to have my mind wandering into dangerous turf, contemplating to unravel the tight knot that has choked me so through unusual means.

When I have my own life to live why do I let myself live for others, giving them the power to cram my style and hold me down?

When one dares to venture into unchartered waters and violate the once-complete faith, then am I to blame when my mind keeps on wondering endlessly and wandering into the bottomless pit of uncertainty and skepticism?

The perplexity and wariness seem set to stay, which may last till the end if there's no attempt to clear the misty air.

Mr PM, you've got to be kidding!

2008-07-13T22:26:00.005+08:00

This is what happened when you sleepwalk and daydream too much. Was he sleepwalking when he said this or was he on drugs???

Man, he sure is delusional and obviously still in denial.

Poor us Malaysians to have such a leader.

The part when he proclaimed, "I'm used to making history that leaders before me had not achieved" made me laugh so hard I almost pee in my pants. LOL! Talk about being vain. This old man is totally hopeless.

Saturday July 12, 2008 MYT 8:30:06 PM

Repeat of 2004 election results possible, says PM

By V.P. SUJATA

PUTRAJAYA: Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi has confidence that Malaysians can help Barisan Nasional win big in the next general election similar to the 2004 historical victory.

He also stated that the disastrous results of the March election was a blessing in disguise, adding that there was a lesson to be learnt from it all.

He suggested that if Malaysians could change their attitude and refuse to be beaten, repeating the historical 2004 general elections results was possible.

"I'm used to making history that leaders before me had not achieved."

"The 2004 general election was the best but the 2008 result was the worst which no leader before me had achieved," he said.

The Stinky Fear

2008-07-11T15:15:00.017+08:00

There's a stinky smell out in our guest/piano room. Smells like a small dead animal. I really hope it's that of a house lizard. Please, please, please God, don't let it be the carcass of a mouse, a frog or a snake. It's not that the sight of a dead lizard doesn't gross me out. Only that it's such a normal sight in my home that I'm now a little immuned to it.

As much as it stinks out there, I haven't gathered enough courage to seek out the source of the foul smell for fear of discovering the unexpected. What if it's that of a snake or worse a mouse? That would totally, I mean totally freak me out. The very sight of a dead mouse would invariably make me cringe, shudder and cause me to have a shocked traumatised reaction not unlike someone having an epileptic seizure. Like a nightmare, it won't end right there and then either. The horrid image would be replayed over and over again in my head for weeks to come that I could easily be frozen dead in my tracks like one suffering from some sort of a panic attack. That, I'm definitely not ready to face.

Hopefully the stink would be gone soon or someone else, most likely hubby (who's the hero in this household as he's not easily grossed out by anything - 'anything' here includes creeply-crawlies, slimy reptiles, furry animals big or small and even eeky shitty stuff that would make normal people barf or go eww!) would discover the carcass and just dispose it off. And this time, I hope, he won't be up to his usual crazy antic of the 'dead-animal attack'. I fear my heart won't be able to take it.

A 'Cracking' Joke

2008-07-11T14:38:00.004+08:00

This, I've just got to share. I'm ROTFLMAO!

An Israeli doctor says
'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.' d

A German doctor says
'That is nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

A Russian doctor says
'In my country, medicine is so far progressed that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

The Malaysian doctor, not to be outdone, says
'You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brains, out from Kepala Batas, Penang, put him in the Parliament for 5 years, and now half the country is looking for work.'

Unspeakable Truth or Absolute Denial?

2008-07-06T07:00:00.005+08:00

I'm pretty bothered by an old friend's view on finding the truth.

Not knowing may cloud our judgment. As an example, let's say I have a friend who badmouths me. As much as it hurts to know the truth, I'd rather know about it than to be in denial and fool myself that the friend genuinely regards me as her friend when instead in fact she harbours ill feeling towards me.

This is so that I could decide to break off the friendship ties or to continue it because I was oblivious of her real feelings for me. In fact this so-called friend may be hatching a plan for my downfall and such...

I'm the type of person who'd dig for the truth until I've exhausted all possible avenues to unearth it. I do not like to be fooled and least of all letting myself live in denial by opting to ignore the truth and pretend that life is bliss. If that's the case, I might as well be an actor.

When you're down & out,

2008-07-03T21:27:00.008+08:00

what would you do?

Me? At the way I'm feeling now, my heart feels like it's about to burst with all that pent up emotion. I can't even differentiate whether it's of anger, sadness, despair or just pure disappointment. Maybe, it's just all of those emotions rolled into one.

Just at a time when I need some reassurances to show me that everything's fine, there's nothing to worry about. Sadly, the subject of my suspicion, my disappointment, my anger has to make it a lot worse.

Being there yet not really there. Add to that giving the ride and the lunch??? Am going hmmmm????

Am not irrational or over-reacting. Am just hurting...

The 'Khir' is at it again

2008-06-28T08:15:00.028+08:00

As reported in MalaysiaKini: Dr Khir Toyo gave 3 out of 10 points to the current State Government.

My say: What a Clown!

He, who failed the Selangor rakyat for the two terms he was in power, dare gave his unworthy 2 cents on the new state government of just few months old. It's akin to an old rusty black pot calling a new shiny kettle black! The nerve of this Khir guy.

And he as one of the many arrogant leaders from the now 'decomposing' party who simply dismiss the rakyat's complaints only now after being kicked out of power is desperately trying to save face and act like a hero? Please laa, enough. We don't want to hear your opinion, Dr Khir. Where were you when the Selangor folks needed you? Did you care about their sufferings, their grievances? Did you? So now, who cares about your unworthy 2 cents? You're just a little 3 months too late, Mr Collagen-Face.

I'm more interested with what this former selangor MB had done for us when he was sitting on the throne of 'absolute' power for all those years. Why, he himself has many questions left unanswered and has his own fair share of dirty secrets to hide. Many ugly skeletons hidden in his closet indeed. And what about the cruel and inhumane use of force to evict a community of squatters living in parts of Selangor then.?

He's practically a nobody in the political arena now, just like 'an expired milk'.

Yo, wake up man! Can't you see we don't want you. We don't even need you. Shoo, shoo, go away, just go and play spin-your-words somewhere else. And your blog? It's nothing major but a reflection of your one-sided delusional deceptive self; to hear first hand the grievances of the rakyat, konon. As if we're going to believe in such crap!

I think this Khir guy and the likes of him have excellent acting talent and should join the theater instead. My oh my, can these people act or what?

Such hypocrisy. It's plain disgusting!

of Total Lies, Fabrication & Total Garbage

2008-06-25T15:30:00.011+08:00

I wonder what other readers thought when they came upon today's news headline as captioned above. You know the one related to the explosive statutory declaration by a certain somebody. I'm not going to mention any names here but if you reside in this country and you follow the recent news closely, you've got to know what I'm talking about.

If you ask me, I must say I'm totally revolted, like utterly coursing-throughout-the-whole-body nauseated and I very much feel like puking the entire contents of my guts when I stumbled upon these words of denial claiming that the allegation was ‘total lies, fabricated and total garbage’ (can't you tell, my tone here is oozing with mockery and sarcasm.) And these were the very words used to refute the allegation made against him and his beloved. Again, ‘total lies, fabricated and total garbage’?? Yeah right! Who's actually the lying and deceiving party here? Whose words are in reality of total garbage? Who are known experts in fabricating lies? Who do you think? The accuser or the accused?

Let's see. The accuser didn't just make a press statement but a statutory declaration. I'm not an expert in law but doesn't a statutory declaration carries more weight legal-wise than a simple crude denial over the media? The crucial question hovers over our heads: Who to believe? Should we believe in one who has the courage to face whatever obstacles and adversities that would certainly come his way should he made public his knowledge of the crime with the sole motivation of wanting to uncover the truth and fight for justice? Or should we trust the words of a prominent public figure but whose so-called words of wisdom and assurances are often time proven as worthless as crap. Time and again he, his boss and other like-minded colleagues of his have shown us that they are just a bunch of ignorant, self-serving and money-motivated hypocrites who are corrupted to the core of their very being; full of gimmicks and fond of pulling senseless publicity stunts. They and their illegal but legalized money-making schemes that had caused untold injustice to prevail not to mention countless hardship and suffering to saddle the majority of the people.

The unfolding of previous and recent events involving high profile figures throughout their reign, plus the introductions of poorly thought out policies and the so-called beneficial developmental programs for the rakyat attest to their foolish and selfish characteristics. They love to brag as if they are national heroes fighting for the rights and benefits of the people, justifying their presence and their frequently foolish course of actions as to bring good to the people and the country. Meanwhile, behind thick and dirty political curtain they unashamedly and unabashedly, without showing any guilt or conscience would tell outright lies and twisted versions of truths while serving and protecting their own benefits and that of their cronies and masters.

They are also notorious for making empty promises that eventually led to the loss of their own credibility in the eyes of the masses. These performances and deceptions were carried out nonchalantly and rather convincingly; all these just so that they could get to live obscenely and filthily rich and to remain in absolute power while the people are sucked dry of their own blood and hard-earned money and being left to slowly bleed and choke to their untimely demise.

Still Same Ole Me

2008-06-24T18:43:00.001+08:00

I had a dream
My face was as smooth and beautiful as Mulan's
My nose was as sharp and cute as Mulan's
Even my lips were exactly like hers

But when I woke up
And saw my reflection in the mirror
The face was still mine
Oh, it's still the same old me

And I'm glad, just glad
It's still the same old me

Impaired by Chronic Laziness & Constant Drowsiness

2008-06-24T10:07:00.024+08:00

Years into my marriage especially after my second child had turned two, I noticed that my energy and motivational level had remarkably dropped; and it didn't stop there. Further down the years soon after my third child was born, my stamina and 'zest for live' declined further, this time more significantly than ever . I always feel sluggish, sleepy, fatigue and a general feeling of malaise.

Until these days, I have not recovered from these ailments. I'm still searching for the right cure to overcome the chronic laziness and constant drowsiness that often assail me. Unfortunately, there's no easy way out of these two most debilitating disorders. I know being lazy and sleepy all the time is counter productive but the fact remains that it's not the kind of afflictions that one could easily shake off and then proceed to assume a normal life.

I'm not saying that my life's not normal though. It's just that most times these afflictions are setting me back. They cause regressive impacts on what I could've achieved in lfe. I'm sure if I wasn't plagued with this ailments I could have written a book by now or have a succesful business under my belt; or that my house could be spic and span and gleaming without a dust in sight. If only this could be made true, wouldn't I have made somebody very happy and love me more.

But 'sigh', try as I might to fight off these infirmities, at the end of the day I'll be back to square one. So you see, I'm not lazy just because I want to or that I take naps a lot just because I love snoozing the hours away. It's obvious that there are invisible forces residing within me, namely the Lazy Force and the Sleepy Force, that have the power to manifest themselves at their whims and fancies which is beyond my voluntary control. Whether I like it or not, these forces get to have more say in what I do with my life.

That sounds rather spooky, doesn't it? Not having total control of oneself. But in my case, I think it's plain pathetic. The chronic laziness and constant drowsiness that has taken over me has impaired this once energetic and sprightly me. But as much as I hate what they've cost me (yes, these disorders cost me hours and hours of productive time, not to mention probable fame and prospective income), I have yet to find an attainable solution to the problem.

For now, I'm just like the Garfield of a housewife. The only difference is that I'm not fat as he is and I don't like Lasagna.

Act Out Those Threats Already!

2008-06-23T08:35:00.017+08:00

You know when you take the trouble to make threats, especially when the threats are repeated too many times over and the other party is sure tired of hearing another empty threat coming from you, it's time for the threatener to make real the threats so that the other party, the one being threatened, would start taking you seriously. Of course that would include making them gasp in terror or at least in dismay. But so what? That's the whole point isn't it? To make the other party so terrified with your threats that they will start to change in a way that you've always hoped for; changes that work in your favour. And you get to revel in your newfound power; the power to make not just empty threats but real ones that could effect changes.

It's no rocket science but everybody knows that an empty threat carries zero weight. It makes no impact at all on the other party being threatened. In fact too many threats and no ensuing actions just make those 'oohhh so terrifying threats' a mockery. They're just threats. Nothing to it. That's what the offending party thought and rightly so. But when they've pushed it too far and push the wrong button they did, then they should expect what's coming.

That's the very thing that came the way of yours truly and she'd decided enough is enough. No more Miss Nicety. Finally, she's going to put into action one of her many threats. Just wait and see how the offending party is going to take it. Being defiant is one thing but being insolent and downright rude is just way, way, way too much! That's not just like walking barefooted and on tip-toes on Miss Nicety's lower limbs (which she could begrudgingly let it pass) but it's more like trampling all over her face with their boots on. And this time she's definitely not going to take it sitting down. Instead, she's going to stand up, put on her best running shoes and a helmet to protect herself, then run, run, run like crazy for a head-on collision.

Blogger's Block: Switching to Elegant Silent Mode

2008-06-21T23:57:00.009+08:00

I think I'm losing it. Now I have run out of ideas on what to write. I'd write a new entry and I hadn't even past the intro before I'd throw up my arms in frustration and give up. Talk about running into a blogger's block.

Well, guess it's time to switch to my elegant mode then. For those who're still unsure what elegant mode stands for, I suggest you google for elegant mode & AAB (u know the old Mr Sleepyhead who's been giving a hard time to us folks, citizens of this nation, since he got to be in power). That may feed your curiosity.

See, right now I'm stumped for words. Tell me, what else is there to write about?

Miss U Bad

2008-06-19T20:56:00.014+08:00

Now that you're not here with me, I'm missing you so. It's been 5 days since I saw you last. And now I'm missing you bad. Real bad.

When you were around I should've appreciated you more, took better care of you. I shouldn't have just ignored you and only turned to you when I needed you. Probably because of my neglect and lack of tender loving care, last week you've gotten yourself sick and suddenly without warning, you died on me. Though I didn't cry, inside I was weeping. I simply couldn't believe that you would go so soon. I tried to revive you. I did. I attempted several times. But you remained dead. How could you? How could you just go like that without a parting word?

But yesterday I got the exciting news that you're back from the dead. Actually you weren't dead. You just fell into a coma. Thank God for that. Now I'm so eager to see and hold you again. Will you be here with me soon?

Bravo SAPP!

2008-06-19T00:04:00.014+08:00

Let's give a round of applause to SAPP. Their courage to stand up for their rakyat against the NATO (no action, talk only) Mr Big Ears deserves a pat on the shoulder.

A party like theirs that truly represents the sentiments of their people is proof that its members are real gutsy men with balls. Oh very much unlike those neutered suck ups who blindly stand behind this lying-indecisive-unreliable-selfish-old sleepyhead even though they're fully aware he's so incompetent and loves to whisper sweet nothings to the people.

Friday the 13th

2008-06-13T17:04:00.011+08:00

They say Friday the 13th is a bad day, brings bad luck. But no I don't believe such nonsense. As a matter of fact every Friday is a holy day and the number 13 is just that, a number.

It is definitely not an unlucky day but rather a blessed day. Who better to testify to this other than myself when today, yes today, on Friday the 13th I came upon a shocking revelation. A revelation that wouldn't have come my way if I haven't asked for Him to shed light on what I was clueless about. Something that have mystified me all these past weeks made worse by the recent loss was unbelievably demystified by the Al-Mighty today. It's apparent that God had answered my prayer and led me to the truth. Now I know we should never ever underestimate the power of our prayers. Today, I see it plain and clear.

And oh, never dismiss your dreams as 'nonsense, it's just a silly dream' too. Few days ago, God had wanted me to see the truth by telling me what had actually transpired on the day. But no, I was too blind and too stubborn to see. I just brushed it off as nothing, shouldn't be taken seriously. After all, it was just a dream. But now I clearly and really believe sometimes we should believe in our dreams. It's another mysterious way how God wants us to see the truth.

Yes, God works in mysterious ways. We only need to open our eyes, not only the eyes on our heads but also our hearts' eyes to see what's really going on. Plus, when you have a real and unwavering faith in God then He'll show you. He will help you defeat the lying and the deceiving party.

Hahaha moment

2008-06-12T14:21:00.005+08:00

Hahaha... the NST in education ad over the TV had me laughing out loud.

The Malay boy who says,

"You straight and don't belok belok" with his cute innocent face and the confused look of the white female tourist by his broken English is just too much.

Handphone Jinx

2008-06-12T11:13:00.005+08:00

What's going on with me? Am I a handphone jinx or what?

First, I lost A1's phone when it was right under my armpit. Then, just few days later an old phone which's supposed to be in my keeping has also gone missing. I've searched high and low for it and have turned my place upside down just to look for the phone. But mysteriously, it's still nowhere to be found.

And now even my own phone which's just a few months old fail to work. My guess is there's something wrong with the battery. I've tried charging it but it remains dead.

What am I to do? Because of this, I'm on a communication blackout. No sms, no calls.

Don't Speak?

2008-06-11T21:42:00.008+08:00

shhh

Sometimes it's best to shut up. But how can you when something's bothering you, persistently nagging at the back of your mind. You have no choice but to let it out. They say never bottle it up. It's because once they reach bottleneck, you will no longer be able to contain the pressure and it will burst in your face.

So better to have your fill by venting it. Pour the contents once in a while. Never let it reach the maximum level. Half full, maybe. But never ever to the brim because when it has reached that level, it means it has built up enough momentum and can explode anytime like an atomic bomb. It could even kill you. Just like a point blank gunshot to the heart.

Bang! Bang! You're dead meat.

That Feeling Again

2008-06-11T21:04:00.014+08:00

I've said it once and I've said it before. It's not as easy to just forgive and forget. That sneaky suspicious feeling somehow, somewhere when you or I least expected it, will return and rear its ugly head. Again. Oh, doesn't matter that all parties thought that it's been resolved and it should no longer be an issue. But the problem is, to me, it hasn't and still is. No matter how hard I try, it still comes and goes as it pleases. Sometimes it takes centrestage, sometimes it lingers on the parameters of my mind. But it's best when I can push it as far back as the deepest recesses of my mind, hoping against hope that I'd be able to forget that it had ever 'existed'.

Knowing that it had once existed and may still does, leaves a sore feeling in my heart and a tight knot in my head. To relieve myself of these crappy feeling, I know I have to interrogate that poor creature again for making that first mistake in the first place. It doesn't matter how many times or how long it will take, I've gotta, I've just gotta know for sure. Letting myself swim in the sea of doubt would only make things take a turn for the worse, like walking into a dead-end.

Right now, it has taken centrestage. It's not just trying to attract my attention but it demands it. So it's only fair that I give it due thought. I really don't want to get myself caught up in that intricate web of lies, do I?

I hate having to agonize over it again. It's making me restless, bored and jittery. Am I bold enough to do the unthinkable? Am I crazy enough to risk it all?

Oh No. Fuel Hike Again?

2008-06-09T14:51:00.009+08:00

Am sure most Malaysians are still reeling from the shock over the outrageous fuel price hike hastily announced by our uncaring and pompous government just last week.

Geez, where should I start? One thing I know for sure is we'd better brace ourselves for a severe financial storm heading our way soon. We may have not felt the full impact yet. But just wait for another week or two, then we'll get to feel the full blow. Everybody is dreading the inevitable, the rate of inflation which's gonna hit the roof soon especially if and after the government proceed with the next phase of the fuel hike. Even at the current increased rate, many are suffering especially those from the lower and middle income group.

I believe at a time like this it's higly prudent for us to be prepared and start an austerity drive. Cutting back on luxuries and non-necessities is a must. We should be grateful that at least we still have a roof over our heads and food to feed our hunger. Some are not so lucky. Some may even have to cut back on the number of meals they have in a day or even worse, survive on a daily diet of instant noodles.

So now it's up to us to take care of ourselves now. Don't expect the government to listen to us and understand our predicament. We are not the ones in power but they are. So they believe they own us and can do whatever they like, that they are invincible and immortal. We mere mortals let's just accept it and be quiet. Well that's what they expect of us it seems.

Anniversary Dinner

2008-06-06T08:53:00.026+08:00

Ok. Ok. I've been in my elegant mode for far too long. Don't feel like 'talking' since I last updated.

So yeah, celebrated my 14th wedding anniversary couple days ago. What was supposed to be an exciting evening was dampen by the terrible traffic congestion on the evening of our anniversary as we made our way from Crownsville to KL. It started even before the SB Toll Plaza causing our car to crawl at a snail's pace through the highway to the federal road just to get us to KL Tower. It should've taken us about half an hour to reach our destination but that night, it took us almost 2 damn frustrating hours. A2 & A3 were already restless, and annoyingly so with their ever incessant, "Are we there yet?" and "What's taking us so long?".

The traffic situation wasn't the only factor that sort of dampen our mood but the fact that we ran out of petrol (thanx to someone's over-optimistic view that what's in the tank was more than enough for the ride simultaneously ignoring the time-to-fill-up-fuel warning) just as we reached the tower was another minus point. Another killjoy was the announcement over the radio of a very drastic fuel price hike effective that midnight. From the existing RM1.92 to RM2.70 per litre! Wow, our government must be very desperate to have announced the increase in such an unexpected and sudden manner. It seemed everyone was taken off-guard. By the time we were midway through our dinner at the tower's revolving restaurant, a friend phoned hubby to inform him of the craziness that was taking place outside: motorists gate-crashing petrol stations to get their car tanks filled up to the max before midnight!

Now we really had to worry then. First, our car had totally run out of petrol. Second, all petrol stations are jam-packed with cars. So the important question was, could we make it home early or do we have to wait until past midnight to get our fill of petrol for the trip home? But more seriously, can our car even make it to the nearest station?

However, disregarding the impending difficulty we assumed we'd face soon enough, we just let ourselves loose and enjoyed the buffet dinner. The kids were most excited about the variety of desserts displayed and ready for the taking at the desserts corner. While A2 was crazy about the ice-cream, A3 was equally over the moon about the choccies. Even the choc decor wasn't spared. Everything was devoured.

Later, when we had just started feeling stuffed and thinking we could take it no more, along came hubby to our table with a bowl of pengat durian. The sweet aroma made it simply irresistible. It's just too good to pass up. Never mind that our tummies were already filled to the brim. We've just got to have our fill. So together with A2, a diehard durian fan in the family, I made my way to the dessert counter again for two bowls of the delicious treat.

All in all we enjoyed the dinner. Though I personally feel that the rate is much too high in comparison to the array of food served. 'But it's ok. It's not that we eat here everyday', so said the paymaster though silently, I disagree. We may not dine here everyday but the cost which's equivalent to an average household's monthly grocery bill is enough to make me swear off from such luxuries. It's obscenely excessive.

Anyway, after killing much time by taking photos and such, we decided that it's time to go for the inevitable. Head home! My heart was held in suspense as we made our way to the nearest petrol station in a car with an empty fuel tank. Luckily we managed to reach the BP Station which was located just a few hundred metres from KL Tower. Within half an hour after feeding the car its fill of petrol, we were safely home.

Phew! That was close.

I say, never, never will I ever again believe when that over-optimistic person tells me to: 'Relax. Don't worry, there's more than enough fuel to last the entire trip'. Look at what this relax-not-a-care-in-the-world attitude almost got us into. And that wasn't the first time either.

Kill Or Be Killed

2008-06-05T00:02:00.004+08:00

In light of the hefty hike in fuel price, seems like we citizens of this beloved nation have to go on an austerity drive.

Here's the lowdown on some smart saving tips:

1. Spend within your means. That means when your income is RM5,000 spend lat most RM5,000. Don't be stupid enough to spend more than RM5,000 even if it's just RM1 more.

2. Drive smaller car. It's easier to park and it consumes less fuel.

3. If possible don't drive to work, walk instead. No, don't take the bus nor should you take the train. Public transport is very unreliable in this part of the world as most of you already know I'm sure (except for those rich goons with drivers who never have the need to use public transport.)

4. Don't eat out. Eat in on a daily diet of instant noodles instead.

5. Be nice to your in-laws so that you get invited to lunch or dinner at their homes more frequently. Better still, get acquainted with the rich Datuk and Datins, or the Tan Sris who never understand how it's like to suffer when the price of fuel is increased. I'm sure they can well afford giving free meal to us mere mortals.

6. Forget the credit card. It fools you into thinking that you have money to spend when actually it is the very clamp to your financial freedom. The interest rate is so high that by the time that you drop dead, you still won't be able to repay whatever outstanding amount you the banks, assuming of course you still pay the minimum amount every month.

When Will It Ever End?

2008-05-30T08:30:00.020+08:00

Daily I can't help but read the news disseminated by the mainstream media. I need to keep myself abreast of the current goings on in this country so I read whatever available local news online . But what really irks me is when I have to read news reports that are outright lies and twisted truths. The lies that are perpetuated by the MSM and the truths apparently twisted every which way just to appease the powerful few.

The question is: When will it ever end?

I was hoping that with the change of our political landscape, the national medium of reporting news and disseminating info would finally put to rest all the bull shit that they help spread. But NO, they are still at it, aren't they? Still kissing up to the big bosses; the big bosses with the big fat bank accounts, equally big heads and egos. They unashamedly and blatantly disregard and disrespect the people's sentiments at large. Just how stupid do they think we are? That is such an insult to our intelligence!

I'm sure most citizens of this country are now much wiser and had woken up from their stupor. While the new state government slowly dig out and expose the skeletons in the closet of the previous government, one can't help but wonder, when will it ever end?

A Spat over a Cat

2008-05-26T18:48:00.036+08:00

You know it's no fun finding yourself almost pounced on by a cat just so that it could be patted and stroked by someone it thought was as loving and as pampering as its owner aka MIL (and the rest of the clan). And of all people, I, the 'universally' known cat-phobic in the clan was the one this stupid cat chose to play 'peek-a-boo' with. Can you imagine that?

That was what happened yesterday at MIL's house. There I was comfortably seated on the couch absorbed in my own world watching TV when suddenly I heard something landed with a slight thud behind me. Without missing a beat to see what it was or take any chances I immediately flew off the couch and jumped on the nearest chair to scream my head off. That was even before I knew it was actually a cat. I already had a hunch that it was and when I saw it really was one, I screamed again while my whole body shook uncontrollably just thinking of how I could've gotten 'attacked' by the cat. And this utterly ridiculous unbecoming reaction that came from a grown up and someone's mommy no less, was witnessed by not only hubby and my own kids but also by MIL and my little nieces! Upon rudely jolted from whatever they were doing by my piercing scream and seeing how frantic I got over a harmless cat they couldn't help but broke out into laughters and jeers.

To them I was just being silly and over reacting. But honestly, what could I have done otherwise? It's not something that I purposely acted out just to gain attention. It was out of pure instinct ok. An instinct to protect myself, to survive. An instinct to prolong my life, to perpetuate the living breathing me. Of course I know too, it's not like a docile domestic cat could kill me or eat me alive. But still, you can't expect me to just calmly sit there and let the cat lick my face or put its furry paws on me, do you? Ewww! That would be totally gross and creepy! In fact, I would be so terrified that I could get a heart attack.

It does not help either that certain people think it's funny to scare me some more by throwing at me some balled-up black shirt and made me think that it was a cat just to have fun knocking the daylights out of me. I say it's NOT funny! Threatening to throw a real very much alive-and-kicking cat at me just so that you could have a kick out of it is not funny either. Just imagine if the same happens to you and it's not just a cat but a furry hairy giant of a gorilla. How would you feel then? So please stop making fun of my cat phobia. It's not funny. It's a disease, get it? A real but inexplicable phsychological disease. Just be thankful that I am not as bad as Monk.

Sorry Monk, as much as I love your character I still think you're a super wacko who's impossible to live with.

of Moronic Truckers

2008-05-22T10:00:00.024+08:00

It gets to me when some morons use the road like it belongs to their father or grandfather.

Just this morning on a narrow bridge some driver of an ongoing big monster truck and another driver of an oncoming but bigger monster truck caused a terrible congestion on the bridge. Both were too obstinate to give way or to back off to ease the jam and make it possible for traffic from at least one side of the road to pass through again.

I wonder what kind of reasoning passed through the truckers' heads. Whatever it was, it probably sounded like this:

Driver1: Get off the bridge you fool. I was here first.

Driver2: No, you back off and get off the bridge. My truck is bigger than yours, can't you see? So I have the right of way.

Driver1: No, no, no! I was here first. So I should go first and you get out of the way!

Driver2: Huh! Over my dead body!

Driver1: Oh really? Until hell freezes over then. I shall NOT budge!

And on and on, such silly foolish arguments possibly spewed out by the little under developed brains of these morons. Until someone called up the police to the scene probably, because the next time I used the bridge both the morons and their trucks were nowhere in sight. Or maybe there was a divine intervention earlier in the form of a giant hand shoving both trucks off the bridge.

Such fools! Just because they're behind the wheels of monster trucks they thought it's their God-given rights to act so high and mighty. And that the road is theirs and theirs alone. To them other road users are just little beings in their little cars who are unworthy of any consideration whatsoever.

Luckily there's another route that could be used. But it didn't help that while the traffic was at a standstill some nosy being decided to get out of the car to act as the traffic policeman. Especially so when the nosy one is my passenger whom I badly needed to get behind the wheel of my car to maneuver a u-turn to get us out of the sticky situation before it got worse.

Super Nasty Week

2008-05-21T09:16:00.019+08:00

Now that I'm in my super-nasty mood, watch out kids. I don't say it out loud but I always believe to make the kids toe the line, I have to turn into a nasty wicked mommy. If I were to be an all-softy-lovey-dovey mommy, I know they wouldn't listen to me and would just walk all over me and treat me like a maid or worse, a doormat.

This week is sure a fine time to be super nasty.

Yesterday, I made A2 go to school in his wrinkly creased uniform. Serve him right for crumpling them when I'd already so nicely ironed them out for him. And yet even after I'd specifically ordered him to hang them up nicely, he'd just chucked them on the chair and get them all crumpled up again by sitting and pressing on them so mindlessly & carelessly while doing his homework. Can you imagine how mad I got?

So since he didn't listen to me and preferred to be oblivious to my words and the effort I've made, as a form of punishment I too preferred to be oblivious to the shame he'd suffer and the scolding he'd definitely get from his teacher. Let him wear his uniform unironed, all wrinkly and creased to school!

Time to be Nasty

2008-05-21T08:50:00.010+08:00

Sure, sure. I can be nice. I can be sweet. And be humble and kind too. But if you cross the line, then be prepared to face the rude and nasty me. Just because I seem like a nice person doesn't mean you can step all over me. Oh no. Wrong move.

So when you are the one to ask a favour of me yet you act so inconsiderate and ungrateful, then the blame is on you. It's not my fault then that now I've decided to pull out of the deal. I simply don't do favours for inconsiderate ingrates.

So there. Get off your high horse and find someone else to victimise.

An Artist in our Midst?

2008-05-19T15:36:00.013+08:00

Who would have thought her love of doodling would produce these? I'm just so proud of my li'l Mya. She must have taken after her mama in the creativity department too it seems.
Mya's rendition of mama, Daddy, Mya herself & big bro. Somehow, big sis is missing from the picture.
(left pix)Mya's impression of big sis & herself and (right pix) A sketch of A2 by li'l Mya

Big sis, bald?

What a Relief

2008-05-17T23:35:00.008+08:00

Phew... that's a real relief. Was worried for nothing.

If I had known earlier I wouldn't have beaten myself silly over it. I would have sent it for washing sooner. It's amazing what a little buffing can do. Pretty amazing.

That means no more worrying about how to break the bad news to the relevant party or if I had to twist the truth a little just to get myself off the hook. It's practically solved. Yay! I'm so smart and oh, lucky too!

Now I really believe, 'what you don't know won't hurt you'.

A case of an Itchy Heart

2008-05-16T09:24:00.009+08:00

Read this.

If that's isn't a case of gatalness (lust), I don't know what else is. He's earning RM1,500 per month, has 3 wives already and he wants to take a 4th wife? Man, nowadays on that kind of salary even a bachelor can barely survive. Yet this man wants to add another wife?

Following the sunnah of the Prophet my foot. Bet the other wives themselves have to make their own money to feed such a large family. Otherwise, it's impossible for them to survive. It's so very obvious the man can't even afford all three wives if he were to depend on his income alone; don't even mention to support four wives. Yet some women still fall for dirty old man like him? One wonders...

Monster Daddies, May You Burn in Hell!

2008-05-15T08:30:00.019+08:00

Reading this horrifying piece of news, Shocked over hubby molesting own daughter in today's Star Online left me shocked, mad and utterly outraged. If that's not enough stumbled upon this Four-year-old raped by dad from the same source.

My God, how could they do such a thing?! Those girls are their own flesh and blood for heaven's sake. These monster daddies don't deserve to live. They should be shot dead. No, no! Not shot dead! They should be skinned alive and raped by wild animals. That would serve them right. And oh, chop off their wild things too! No, that's too light. Strip them naked and shove them into a den of hungry lions and let those beasts ravage these monster daddies and tear every inch of their body parts piece by piece. Let them suffer slowly in there, then die a horrid death. If I were the victims' mommies I'd kill those monster hubbies with my own bare hands. Then plead innocence by saying I just temporarily lost it.

I'm just seething with rage at those beasts that I feel I could kill them myself. Just imagine the trauma and the ordeal those little girls had to go through. My heart bleeds for them. How can their own father do such a horrific thing to little angels like them. They're still babies, stupid moronic daddies! You're supposed to protect and care for them. Not ravish them!

I hope these monster daddies get what they truly deserve soon. If they're thrown in jail, they may get their dues. I've heard how child rapists are treated by the other inmates. May you rot in hell, monster daddies!

Nowhere

2008-05-12T17:28:00.008+08:00

Just seconds ago, I was thinking, 'Oh no, I'm going nowhere with this. All my hardwork for the past week has come to nought' and was just about to give up and switch back to my elegant mode .

But hold on a minute. Looks like there's still a glint of hope. Maybe I will find light at the end of the tunnel after all.

Yiee... haa...! Soon I'm going to make tons of money! As Rain would cutely laugh *muahahaha*.... you can eat your hearts out zombies.

Mother vs Me

2008-05-11T23:15:00.035+08:00

I may take after my mother in looks but I'm the total opposite when it comes to the others. Here are just some of the examples that show stark differences between us.

Whereas mother would bleach, soak in detergent and boil her dirty kitchen rags after just a few days of use. I on the other hand would use and reuse my kitchen rags until each turns into an unrecognisable yucky, gooey mass of blob before I decided that they're just to eeky to handle and I'd simply toss them out.

When doing the washing mother would take care to sort dirty laundry into categories of tops, undergarments, pants, whites or colours before soaking them into a basin-load of water followed by washing each piece manually by hand before finally loading them into the washer for further rinsing and spinning.

But I without a single thought would simply dump the whole load into the washer not really caring whether they are thoroughly clean or that some would come out still a little bit stained or soiled. For all I care they've gone thru the wash, rinse and spin cycle. So that's clean enough for me. No need to waste my time and energy to do the gritty nitty work. That's what machines are invented for, isn't it? To make our life easier.

Besides, what's the point of having them spotlessly clean when the next day or few days later you're gonna wear and make them dirty again. So really, what's the point? A sheer waste of time and energy, I'd tell her. I have better things to do you know with my time. No way am I gonna make the washer redundant. If mother hear me use this argument, she'd immediately throw in my face the big 'L' label. Yeah I know but I'd always defend myself by saying that I don't mean to be lazy but it's just that unlike her, I wasn't born with her will and stamina. So really, it's not my fault then, is it?

That's the very reason why I always admire her strength and determination. Just how did she do it? She'd cook every single day most times twice a day. She'd mop the whole floor of our 2-storey detached house at least twice daily. Don't even talk about the kitchen floor where she'd mop it many times over after every meal/cooking time.

Me? Oh, you don't want to know. The floor of my one-storey home hasn't felt the loving care of Mr Mop for months now. Though I know it's time I gave it a good serious scrub, the thing is there's either not enough time for me to do it, or that I'd abandon the thought of actually doing it when I know I couldn't follow through with the ensuing mopping task. It requires too much energy. So I just let it be. Until someone complains and make a big fuss over it, that is. Otherwise, why bother?

Cooking? Neither do you want to know what I think about cooking. It's in fact one of the most loathed chores among my list of avoid-at-all-cost activities. Almost everybody who knows me know by now how much I hate this boring and time-consuming task. To me, cooking is simply too boring and involves too much work though most people find it enjoyable, even therapeutic. Huh? Really?

Really, I'm not kidding when I say I'm the total opposite of my mother. Sometimes I do wish that I could be like her and have all the necessary skills to be a good homemaker. But alas, after almost four decades of being me, I'm still like this, myself.

OMG!

2008-05-11T13:48:00.001+08:00

Don't know how to say this
But scratch your baby I did
Know you're not gonna kill me over this
Just get mad at me you would
Still so afraid to own up
What would I do if you knew

Oh God, please, please help me
Just put off the day
Till he finds out
While I concoct a tale
That he'll buy and believe

Don't you know me by now?

2008-05-11T13:45:00.008+08:00

Oh, that's rich. real rich. For someone to have staked a claim on me and only now realized who I really am? Duhh???

Anyways, FYI I may not like travelling, picnicking or any sort of outing that involves nature (no, I'm not shallow!) I don't really relish shopping that much either.

I just hate the hassle that goes along with those activities like the preparation with what to bring or what not to bring that frequently drives me nuts; the thought of being in touch with the greens which also means getting into contact with yucky stuff (eww!!!) This I must clarify, have something to do with the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that I have (not unlike the one afflicting the TV detective, Monk - that's why I can so relate to him) which is a psychological disease and thus, beyond my control. And of course, having to sleep in a cramped sitting position whether in a car or on airplane is just plain uncomfortable.

Just get one thing clear though. I may be a bit off at times but I'm not a recluse ok. I like being around people so don't start accusing me of something you don't even know of. And even if I'm addicted to the net and am content enough socializing through this medium, I'm not as bad a loner as that Angela Bennet woman who's life revolves around the cyberworld.

So please, don't criticise me just because I'm not in the same wavelength as yours. That doesn't make me any less human or any less normal. Though sometimes I feel, think, act crazy or weird I'm still a reasonably normal person. I am. Honest!

The Neurotic Mom Attack

2008-05-11T13:44:00.003+08:00

Don't really know what had taken over me. What I know was that throughout this week I was grumpy, quick to jump into aggressive action and was just generally feeling angry and hostile at just about anything or anyone who crosses my path.

Yesterday evening what happened to A2 pulled out all the stops. Normally I would use reason to stop myself from attacking other people. But that day, somehow all reasons were chucked out the window and my uncontainable wrath was directed at the cause of A2's bawling. Tired, exhausted and generally feeling angry and grumpy I was just home from fetching A1, when I noticed A2 was crying. When queried was informed that a certain kid of same neighbourhood hit him hard on his back just because A2 refused to lend him his bike. As I was already in a nasty mood, I was mad & outraged and like a crazy woman started searching for the bully's contact numbers. In my mind kept on saying, 'oh i'm gonna get you for this. I dont care what your parents think of me but I'm gonna get you for this, you rascal! Nobody messes with me. And when you mess with my kids, you're messing with me!'

Angrily punched in the numbers on the phone hoping to speak with his dad for I know he'd get a good spank if his dad got wind of what his bratty son did this time. Unfortunately got to only speak with his mom from whom I doubt they'd be any form of physical punishment due to this undeserving son of hers. Verbally reprimanded, yes but definitely no a good hearty spank. So I was not fully satisfied. Planned to call his dad later when he's available to talk.

Later unexpectedly, as fate would have it, when I was about to turn the corner leading to our home on the drive back back from a dinner out, saw the boy on his bike cycling recklessly at the end of the road. As someone gripped by the super duper nasty bug, I immediately sped along and chased after the boy in my car before he got out of view. Cornered to a stop, he got no way to escape and had to endure with whatever I had to say. With a mad and angry voice, I told him off repeatedly and warned him with no uncertain terms that I'd make sure he knelt before A2 and begged for his forgiveness if he ever laid a finger on my son again.

Surprise, surprise, now that he was dealing with me he didn't seem so arrogant like he usually did. He suddenly turned into a humble and yes ma'am-okay ma'am boy.

This same boy here had been bullying both A1 And A2 for years. And he's gone too far this time. So he thought just because he got no reaction from me nor hubby for bullying my kids, I was going to take it lying down again, is he? Oh no you don't. You dont wanna mess with me. When I lose my temper goodness knows what else I'm capable of. He's lucky that I didn't get out of the car.

Anak Halal, the Movie

2008-05-11T13:42:00.000+08:00

Have you watched Anak Halal? And they call that a movie? No wonder I've always shunned Malay movies. They suck. Most of them, that is. Whoever's the director or the producer of the movie should learn a thing or two from the makers of films like Sepet, Mukhsin or Tentang Bulan. Now these are the kind of movies I would watch over and over again.

Back to Anak Halal. It was a bore with a capital B. It almost drive me to tears. Yes, tears. Tears of regrets and boredom, from watching such a low-grade uninspiring movie. What a drag! Who would conceive of such badly directed movie and with such bad cinematography too. It's wasting my time watching the so-called movie. If they thought by roping in all those good-looking actors to act in the movie would cause viewers to flock to the cinema and taken in by the poor storyline, then they're way mistaken and obviously deluding themselves.

Please, if this carries on then no body is going to watch Malay movies. They just totally suck. Save and except for the ones made by Yasmin Ahmad, of course.

of being numb & heartless

2008-05-11T13:39:00.000+08:00

When I was temporarily deaded and suffer from apathy the other day, I thought I was numb and heartless too. But thank God, am not so. Turns out I was just numb. Not without a heart.

Just yesterday evening, the normally unfeeling me, especially when it comes to watching fictive movies or dramas with the exception of Winter Sonata, was moved to tears while watching All About Love over Astro Kirana. That was one touching movie. I didn't wail or anything like that. But the movie managed to reduce me to tears.

That means I do have feelings after all. Am not the unfeeling robots like some people are.

of Not Snot, Know Knot

2008-05-11T09:51:00.012+08:00

I'm not a snot
Really I'm not
Even if my nickname ends in a not
And rhymes with a snot
And just because I often snort
Still I am not a snot

I'm just not!
And I care not
If you believe me not
Coz really, I'm not a snot
I'm just tying you into a knot
Do you know not?

Eat ice-cream and look younger!

2008-05-11T09:24:00.007+08:00

What? One can eat ice-cream and look younger at the same time?

Wow, that just sounds too good to be true. But is it?

Let's find out.

Go read the related article at this site.

Oh ok. Basically, it's about this certain ice-cream conceptualised by a South African company that described it as the 'world first range of organic Vinetherapy™ Ice Creams using the same fruit flavours that are used as descriptors for wine, with flecks of grape seed extract which offer anti-oxidant properties.'

Oh, *heart sinking*, so that means not all ice-cream offer this anti-ageing benefit. Shoot! But never mind. It's not like it's the end of the world yet, is it? Just because it does't have that anti-ageing factor, doesn't mean it's off my list.

Especially, after taking a look at this:

Anti-Ageing ice cream with fruit flavors
by Anonymous

How can I resist? You think the fact that it's laden with creamy fat and calories would stop me from getting my dose of this treat? Of course not! Looks like on today's outing am definitely gonna be on the look out for something like it. Ooooo yummy!

Tragedy of the Heart

2008-05-09T09:52:00.026+08:00

It's a tragedy...
A tragedy of the heart
When...
The one you love and trusted most
The one who professes his love to you
The one who promises to protect and care for you
Betrays you

How can your heart ever trust again
When...
The one who means the world to you
The one who says "I do" and "I'll die for you"
The one who makes your life whole and complete
Betrays you

How can your heart be yours again
When your heart...
Has been crushed so ruthlessly & mercilessly
Is so badly hurt, there's no more spirit and joy
And it has now lost its rhyme & rhythm

After all the damage has been done
When your heart is now irreparable
When it has lost its beat & is slowly dying away

Then you know...
It is indeed
A tragedy of the heart

Elegant Silent Mode?

2008-05-08T09:24:00.003+08:00

Came accross this phrase again today.

Never knew that being silent can be deemed elegant.

Ah well, now I know.

Ok people, if I don't update my blog for the next few days...

You can safely assume that I'm simply being elegant.

Bloggers not immune to the law

2008-05-08T08:49:00.006+08:00

So says our deputy PM, Najib as per today's The Star Online

I cannot but agree with him fullheartedly.

You know why? That's because it's only the BN politicians who are immune to the law. Only they can do whatever they like and yet still able to get away with it.

That's how it is over here at the bolehland.

LOL Moment

2008-05-05T23:09:00.006+08:00

Can't help laughing out loud when I chanced upon this from MalaysiaKini site:

Khir Toyo: What a performance!
May 2, 08 10:58am

On Khir Toyo: Blame the keris, not the broom

Santan: What fools does the arrogant, post-plastic surgery, ex-MB of Selangor think Malaysians are? What’s he doing, bersandiwara-ing even till now? To distract us whilst some siphons public funds away from the rightful guardians? He may be looking better than before, but he’s still no Brad Pitt.

Mr Khir Toyo, stop playing the ‘good guy’ because you’re not and nothing you say now matters anymore to anyone. At least for once in your life, do us a favour and do away with your performances. We’re not the least entertained.

Observer: All of a sudden it would seem that Khir Toyo has awakened up from his slumber as if he was in a coma all these years. What a play, what a masquerade! He would make a fine example from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar - et tu Brutus.

It is not the keris or the ‘big talker’ Khairy that brought the downfall alone - it is people like Khir Toyo and cronies of BN sitting on high pedestals reaping the cream of the fruits of labour that the ordinary citizens of Malaysia have toiled for. There are so many others like him in the BN flowchart.

As the ‘golden goose’ has lost its fertility to lay more golden eggs, thus they are apprehensive of that the amassed fortune that they have accumulated over the comfortable years would be exposed. We had enough of the likes of Khir Toyo and the rest of the elites of BN - you are history and so you will be. It is not too late to abscond quietly for if you were to poke the turf, you will find more cans of worms.

Yes, looks like this ex-Selangor MB had been living upside down all this while. Trying to act all sanctimonious and proper all of a sudden as if we're blind and deaf. Of course there are still some out there who are still blind and deaf and still kiss the asses of these scums. But they forget, many of us are not and we will never forget or forgive what the likes of this Mr Toyo had done to this country.

She's sexy alright!

2008-04-30T22:22:00.006+08:00

Can't get this song out of my head. So why not share it here in my blog.

Don't you just feel like losing your head and dance like crazy to the tune? I know I do.

But I like the way Stacy AF6 and the gang does it better. Their dance moves were more energetic and vivacious.

So later dude. I've got some fat to lose...

Where's the Money?

2008-04-29T21:35:00.022+08:00

As reported in Suara Keadilan of 23 April - 7 May 2008, the yearly allocation for 54 of BN ADUNs amounting to RM27 million was gone in 50 days! Yes, you read it right. RM27 million gone just like that in under 2 months. One wonders, how did they do it. Have they no shame? It's the people's money dammit!

The allocation of RM500k to each rep of the rakyat was meant for the repairing of roads and drainage. But the BN politicians used it all up by Feb 2008.

Whoa, where did the money go BN? Who ate up all the people's money?

Answer us!

What a Song

2008-04-29T21:35:00.019+08:00

Such a beautiful song. Yeah, the wordings are romantic indeed. But do they make sense?

When you're in love, nothing seems impossible and you thought you'd be willing to go through hell and high waters just to be with the one you love, no?

But reality check please.

Part of the lyrics I find interesting to analyse:

Relaku menunggumu seribu tahun lama lagi
Tapi benarkah hidup aku akan selama ini

Translation:
I'm willing to wait for you for 1000 years longer
But will my life last this long

Yeah right. Wait for another 1000 more years? Most can't even wait 10 years longer or even just 10 months longer. At least he had the sense to question the possibility of his life lasting that long.

Next,
Relaku mengejarmu seribu batu jauh lagi
Tapi benarkah kaki ku-kan tahan sepanjang jalan ini

Translation:
I'm willing to chase you for a further 1000 miles
But will my legs be able to stand the whole journey

Good question there dude. But I was wondering, why do you need to go on foot just to chase after the girl. Have you heard of chasing her by car instead? You'll cover the extra 1000 miles in no time and your legs won't have to suffer too.

Duhh! Things people do and say for love...

Letting bygones be bygones

2008-04-29T21:34:00.013+08:00

What's past is past. It's all over and done with.

No use looking back and regretting over the what-could-have-been. True, reminiscing brings back both fond and bad memories. But they've now become history. All the wounds and heartaches have long since healed. No point in digging up the past.

But thank you. Thank you for the memories. It will be forever cherished in my heart... and remain in the folds of my aging brain.

Scream for Ice Cream

2008-04-27T09:21:00.051+08:00

You know what I can never resist?

Ice cream, that's what!

Just feast your eyes on this. Don't they look irresistible to you? To me they do. Oh yes, they definitely do.

Eversince my tastebuds were first introduced to the pleasurable experience of tasting ice cream (*mmm.... heaven*) I've never looked back since. That was decades ago when I was still a toddler. My beloved father loved to indulge me and my siblings with the cold creamy treat back then. Everytime the ice-cream man on motorbike dropped by, dear father would always asked for the ice-cream in the big carton. Of course the ice-cream man was surprised. No other buyers would be that greedy. Other people would be content enough with one ice-cream cone per se. But not us. Father knew just how much we loved ice cream (and still do, especially yours truly). Giving each one of us just one measly serving is definitely not enough.

Besides, yours truly here, the ever fast ice-cream eater, would always be the first to polished off hers. Yet I'd still had the nerve to eye my younger siblings' ice cream which in turn would cause a big fight to erupt between us when I, unashamedly and persistently harrased them to share theirs. If they refused, still by hook or by crook, this ice-cream aficionado managed to steal a slurp or two when they're distracted.

So never be surprised if you find me giving myself a more than generous portion of this rich treat. For even more than one serving, I can polished it all off in one sitting. Until now, such unlady-like and unmommy-like manner of consuming ice-cream still stays true.

Even to this day, though I risk having my allergy attacks or that my jeans would feel a bit snuggy after consuming lots and lots of that yummilicious creamy pleasure-invoking sundae I still throw caution to the wind and just enjoy them while I can.
I can always put myself on a diet post the heavenly experience but that is only if the fat-factor shoots up exponentially. Other than that, why worry? Enjoy life while we can.

Like my father always says, 'Eat while you can. Tomorrow you might be too old to be able to enjoy them and worse, when you're dead you'll no longer be able to enjoy any food.' Wise saying.

And like what I love to tell my kids. 'You know if ice-cream doesn't have any adverse effects on me, I'd definitely consume them daily be it morning, noon or night. Other food? Who needs other food if you can have ice-cream.'

So me thinks, better not deprive myself of this one worldly pleasure that could make me float on cloud nine. And I think, neither should you. Let's enjoy life people. Let's scream for ice-cream now!

From: A true die-hard ice-cream lover

Crazy Scores

2008-04-26T22:03:00.013+08:00

Whoa! can you believe there exist music scores such as these:

And what about these:

It's definitely not just a sheer challenge to play them but it's absolute total craziness. Personally, I think only the real mad pianists would be able to play them. These wackos don't just play piano but they probably eat, drink, sleep and live piano.

Count me out, you guys. I can't even play well less-complex notes such as this:

Let alone those! Phew...

I am me

2008-04-23T09:11:00.018+08:00

I am...
simple... yet complex,
pretty... yet ugly,
crazy... yet sane,
vengeful.. yet forgiving,
affectionate... yet cold,
awake... yet asleep,
wise... yet foolish,

And I am what I am,
Yet I am what I am not,
To figure me out,
You have to be as sane or insane as I am,

Still if you truly love me,
You'll accept me as I am...
For only those who truly love and know me...
Really know exactly who I am

What? Honorarium Pay???

2008-04-17T09:57:00.010+08:00

I've been reading on this same subject for the past 2 weeks or so and I've just got to say something.

Oii... civil servants, enough lah. Don't be too greedy aaaa....
If you think your gaji and bonus is so low, try quitting and get a job in the private sector instead. There you have no one to manja you laaa.

Our government is spoiling them too much. Cuepacs, you're not helping either. What justifies all these crap? Tell us, we would really love to hear about it.

Can't you people see your demands only cause the already high inflation rate in this country to shoot up some more. To those I know who're working in the public sector, I apologise for my crude remarks but honestly, I think you guys need to wake up and smell the belacan. Life stinks I know but what makes you people think that those working in the private sector are having it much better than you???

You people pampered and sheltered by both Cuepacs and the government have no idea what it's like working in the private sector. So... please, stop being so greedy, guys!

Oh, also want to share this as quoted from The Star:

I couldn't agree more with the writer. He speaks out my thoughts exactly!

Thursday April 17, 2008

Government should stop pampering public employees

COMMENT
By V.K. CHIN

CUEPACS, the umbrella body of government unions, should show greater maturity in claiming for financial benefits. Resorting to boycotting the official function to mark May Day is certainly not the proper way to show its displeasure.

The union has been trying to get the Government to agree to a RM2,000 special payment to help ease the financial burden of its 1.2 million members.

In addition, it has called for the retirement age to be extended, to have a fairer way of promoting workers, and to increase the cost of living allowance. On its own, the RM2,000 honorarium may seem reasonable, especially since civil servants had been given a year-end bonus before.

However, in view of the 30% or more in wage increases recently, this new request may seem a bit too much not only for the Government but also the public.

The recent pay rise had resulted in civil servants being better paid than those in the private sector. Every one is affected by the higher cost of living, not only government employees.

The union seems to think that the Government has unlimited funds to pander to its every financial wish. It can calculate how much the new special payment will cost.

Perhaps it may feel that civil servants deserve the payment, but the public will definitely think otherwise. What irks people is that despite the pay increase, there has not been much improvement in the delivery of service.

Why should anyone be paid more when there is little improvement in performance or productivity? And before the dust has settled, there is the demand for a special bonus.

The union cannot expect to keep on asking for perks without giving back something in return. The public is getting tired of this attitude and will not want the Government to keep pampering its civil servants.

In actual fact, civil servants, particularly those in local councils, could have been one of the contributing factors to the Barisan Nasional’s recent electoral setback.

Officials of city halls, municipal councils and local councils have consistently ignored the wishes and aspirations of the people. In fact, residents have been extremely unhappy at the lack of basic services.

Despite a series of complaints, officials have often simply turned a deaf ear to the ratepayers and continued to do as they please in carrying out their duties.

It is this attitude that has annoyed and frustrated the public to such an extent that they vented their anger at Barisan candidates in the 2008 general election.

The newly formed Pakatan governments in Kedah, Penang, Perak and Selangor will face the same problem encountered by the Barisan in dealing with such officials.

Civil servants are supposed to serve the party in power but they often only pay lip service to this undertaking. They only look after their own interests since governments come and go.

They are the only ones who will remain permanent and they know it is not easy to sack them. With 1.2 million of them, how many can the ruling party get rid of without serious administrative and political repercussions?

Shopping Time

2008-04-11T13:37:00.000+08:00

For the sake of updating this blog, just want to let the whole wide world know that I'm going shopping today; for a black pair of jeans and a black tee to boot. Am hit by that dark fashion sense again.

Who cares? Well, I do.

Used to love wearing black when I started my banking career so many years ago. Those days I discovered that wearing all black compliments my look. It help me exude that professional, no-nonsense air. Besides it made me look elegantly tall and slim. Honest, it's not an exaggeration.

I wore black to work every single day until one morning hubby just couldn't take it anymore when he asked, 'who died?'

Now 15 years and 3 kids later, I'm rediscovering the complimentary look of being in all black. Especially now that am a bit pudgy and 'extended' horizontally. So is on the desperate quest for more black outfits.

Ok then, I'm going shopping now. Hopefully the ATM machines in Alamanda have not been carted away too by the currently active ATM robbers.

What a Coward!

2008-04-08T22:06:00.005+08:00

See...

Like always, just sweep it under the carpet.

That's how a coward confronts problems. hide behind it. Deny what staring him boldly in the face.

Such cowardice. Say, where're your balls, Mr???

No More Rhyme

2008-04-08T17:45:00.001+08:00

Just a dose of your own medicine

2008-04-08T17:32:00.008+08:00

So, how do you like it? Just giving you a taste of your own medicine.

Now how does it feel to be in my shoes? Great? Loving it? Good. That's all I need to hear.

Oh, one more thing.

Shush! Shut up! Don't speak! I don't want to hear anything more from you. To me, every word you speak is mere meaningless sh*t. So, stop wasting your breath trying to convince me otherwise.

You've lost your chance, baby. The bus has left. The door is now closed and forever locked. I've thrown away the key. See if you can open it again... but alas, in vain I tell you. It's all in vain.