Here I go again....

You'd think I'd be immune to it by now. I'm at that point again - a point that keeps recurring as I find myself stuck in that unenviable position.

Even when I refuse to dwell on it, it seems to have a way of worming its way into my head again. Sometimes I am paralyzed with fear. As I do nothing, the anxiety that creeps up on my unconscious thoughts would produce two things - kill the constant urge to create something (anything!) or instantly makes me jump into reckless action.

There are times I wanted to give up. Oh yeah, that I did. Countless times. But soon I would regret it and start all over again.

And here I am. Looks like the cycle is going to return, again. It's suffocating me into inaction. I feel all kinds of stupid whenever it hits me, lulling me into a stupor so that I cease to exist, says me.

While I'm feeling all kinds of stupid and useless I might as well do some chores and run some errands that I normally dodge on the pretext of being what? productive? prolific? Huh! Lame excuse, I know. Lame.

No, it will not make me come undone. It's just a phase. I will not be fazed. Never!

The Dominating Fear

This is what entails when you let the fear of a certain small creature dominate your life:

1. Every little noise strikes fear into your heart. Even the sound of the fridge breathing makes you jump out of your skin in terror while almost giving you a heart attack.

2. You fear to venture into your own kitchen alone without anyone tagging along as your bodyguard - or in this case, a buffer whom you'd most likely push towards the offending creature (on the off chance that it comes out of hiding) as you beat a hasty retreat out of the kitchen.

3. You stopped cooking for as long as you suspect the little creature is still roaming around in the kitchen. The image of the ugly furry thing climbing up your leg while you're busy cooking is enough to make you swear off being anywhere near the kitchen, let alone near the stove underneath which you suspect the tiny creature is making itself a nice, cozy home.

4. It becomes an absolute must to store all food and garbage in the fridge. Yes, that includes garbage too. Along with the good food all to be discarded food shall take residence in the fridge until the next time you remember to throw them out.

5. You will never ever dare walk into the kitchen barefoot again. No knee-high boots to fend off any attacks - imagined or otherwise? No worries, walking with each leg in a knee-high bucket will still do the trick.

6. You can't help but make weird loud noises before entering the kitchen - one you hope would scare away the creature into hiding and thus spare you from any unwanted sightings of its ugly furry self.

7. Finally, it gives you a silly excuse to buy a portable electric cooker.

Tadaa! Cool, huh? Now you can cook wherever you want: in the tv room, the dining room or even in your bedroom so long as it's not in the kitchen. The good thing is it doesn't cost a fortune to get one. And it does not consume as much power as the conventional oven or rice cooker, either.

We call ourselves muslims, yet....

We call ourselves Muslims 
But we prefer to listen to songs 
Rather than listen to the Quran,

We call ourselves Muslims 
But we recite the lyrics to songs & dance to its tune 
Rather than recite the words & follow the teachings of the Quran,

We call ourselves Muslims 
But we'd rather memorize the lyrics to a song 
Than memorizing the verses in the Quran,

Yet we dream of going to Jannah
When we would rather follow
Whatever forbidden deeds 
The devil had beautified for us 
Rather than what Allah had commanded us to follow

That is the reality of the Muslims today
Yet we condemn the kuffar
We shout out against the war mongers and the anti-Muslims

We point fingers at others
While we forget
We are at fault too

Take a good, long look into ourselves
What have we done for the ummah
Are we the real deal?
Or are we just following their flow?

When they spread lies
About our own brothers & sisters
We nodded our heads
Believing them wholeheartedly
No questions asked

But when one of our own
Get to the bottom of
The sinister reason
Behind the lies
We say they're exaggerating
Trying to break up the ummah

Own up to our wrongs & our flaws
Work to better ourselves
Follow HIS command to a T
Maybe then shall we see real change
Taking place all over the nation
But that is only if
We're not already too late

About Me

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When emotions run high and the words are left simmering and bottled up within, she can't help but write up a storm with the words flavoured and seasoned to the state of her emotional & literary being at that point of time.

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